The Price We Pay: R Version
by Ilmare2
Summary: Updated 7-8! The New, Improved Version! After the end of the second war Dumbledore rescues Snape from the dungeons of Lord Voldemort and the long road to recovery begins. Warnings for slash and torture. R&R!
1. Prologue

Title – The Price We Pay: R Version 1/13

Rating – R

Disclaimer – I own none of this, it all unfortunately belongs to Rowling.  I just have the honor of using her creations in my story.

Summary – After the end of the war Dumbledore rescues a captured Snape from the dungeons of Lord Voldemort and the long road to recovery begins.

Pairings – SS/LV, SS/LM, SS/Death Eaters and some HP/DM.

Warnings – Violence, torture, non-graphic rape and m/m slash.

Author's Note – Well call me twisted but a few weeks ago I decided to write an R rated version of this fic.  Everything is fair game here – slash, profanity, violence, etc.  Please, please take note of the warnings for this version, it won't be too terribly graphic, but it will be more serious and deal with darker issues.  If you don't like it please don't read it and stick with the cleaner version!!  All reviews, questions, suggestions and corrections are welcome!!  Read and enjoy!

The Price We Pay 

Prologue

          Pain.  His body ached with unnatural pain; the likes of which he had never felt before or would ever feel again.  He thought he knew what pain was, after all he was no stranger to pain beginning from his early childhood, but his tormentors invented creative ways to torture his beaten body and send him to new levels of agony.  When the cruciatus curse ceased to have the desired effect they turned to other implements of torture.  When he passed out after the repeated rapes, they used spells to make him service them for longer sessions.  The Dark Lord found continual pleasure in discovering new ways to use his favorite toy and was a frequent visitor to the dungeon cell that was now his home. They always laughed at his attempts to scream with his useless throat; it had been silenced long ago with the wave of a wand.  

          Darkness.  His soul was drowning in never-ending darkness and it seemed he would never find his way back to the warm light.  The shadows closed in around him and held him at the mercy of his evil captors.  They used darkness and ropes to break his spirit.  He vaguely remembered being rescued once before from those hands of evil, and set on the path of redemption by the one person who was the embodiment of light and good.  But it was so hard to see past the cold darkness most of the time and he could not trust his own memories, as fractured as they were.  The darkness threatened to overwhelm him again and with the last remnants of his will he held it at bay.  

          Loneliness.  His mind cried out for company and coherent thought.  As a man who treasured knowledge and intelligence above all else he wept silently as his precious mind was torn apart and the pieces thrown to the metaphorical winds.  They forced their way into his mind as they did his body.  His once strictly ordered mind was reduced to a mere shadow of what it was through magic, pain and lies.  All he was left with was a crushing loneliness.  He recalled that he must have been a solitary person by nature because the loneliness did not truly bother him in the beginning.  But as days turned into weeks and weeks into months he desperately wished for the company of someone who was not there to use him or cause him pain or laugh at his wretchedness.  He no longer tried to keep his shattered mind sane and occupied and passed most of the time in a hazy stupor, oblivious to reality.     

                                                           * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

          With a small sigh the pathetic prisoner shifted and moaned mutely as the chains around his wrists and ankles rubbed against the raw, bloody flesh underneath.  He froze as pain shot up his spine from his abused and torn arse.  Maybe someday the blond wizard would finally stop raping him with such cold ruthlessness.  Giving up on finding a more comfortable position he curled into a ball in the corner of the dark cell and rested his weary head on the icy stone floor.  The cold seeped through his naked skin, into his bones and racked his painfully thin body with weak tremors.    

          Another prisoner in another part of the dungeons began moaning and screaming for release, promising to answer questions and reveal classified information.  With a sudden jerk he became aware of the loud voice and summoned enough alertness to make sure he was not the one being yelled at.  The one with the red eyes sometimes hated it when he did not pay enough attention to the orders and taunts.  Some of the words managed to make sense to him and with a flash of memory he saw himself giving an important report to a group of people in an old, dirty house.  The memory was gone as fast as it came and he did not have the energy to try and recall the moment. 

          Time passed slowly and he finally cracked open his obsidian eyes and wondered why someone had not come to stop the poor man who was screaming his throat out.  At least the moans broke up the monotonous silence of captivity.  This question sustained him for a minute before he closed his sensitive eyes and sank back into the enveloping blackness. 

          He drifted along, finding childish pleasure in listening to the various vermin scurry around his cell and in counting the drops of water dripping in a corner.  When the dungeons suddenly fell silent he frowned and turned his head slightly, listening for any sign of his captors coming to play.  He waited with weary resignation for the door to open, but instead an ominous feeling squeezed his heart and descended upon the gloomy dungeon.  

          The captive wizards and witches all stirred as they felt the tell tale signs of powerful, ancient magic being summoned and used.  The feeling of immense power intensified and they all shuddered as the currents of magic that surrounded the entire mansion faltered and abruptly vanished.  A ripple of dark power passed through the silent dungeon before it was overwhelmed and finally destroyed by a burst of light magic.  

          Following this strange magical event, a sharp burning pain blossomed in his left forearm.  He gripped his burning arm as best he could using his chained wrists and curled into a tighter ball against the incredible, sudden pain.  The burning in the Dark Mark on his forearm reached its peak in a white-hot explosion of pain before suddenly coming to a stop.  The prisoner remained curled in a tight ball for some time, panting and shaking harder than ever.  When enough of the pain and shock wore off he was able to move and touched the skin of his left arm with trembling hands.  

          He ran his twisted fingers across the place where the horrid Dark Mark should have been and was met with unexpectedly smooth skin.  There was no evidence of the Mark on his grimy skin, not even a blemish or a scar.  He knew there was something very important behind this abrupt and painful removal of the Mark but could not come up with the reason.  Too tired to care or think anymore the miserable man rested his head back on the ground and fell into an oddly peaceful sleep.

          *To Be Continued* 

Well I hope you liked this version enough to leave a review!!  I will try to update every week as I am only editing the original version and not writing from scratch.  The next part should be up soon.


	2. Chapter 1

Title – The Price We Pay: R Version 2/13

Rating – R

Disclaimer – I own none of this, it all unfortunately belongs to Rowling. I just have the honor of using her creations in my story.

Summary – Snape is found in the dungeons of Lord Voldemort after the final battle

Pairings – SS/LV, SS/LM, SS/Death Eaters and some HP/DM

Warnings – Violence, torture, non-graphic rape, m/m slash.

A/N – These first 2 or 3 chapters are very similar to the original version, I have only altered a few paragraphs or added more descriptive sentences.  Most of my revisions are in the later chapters so stick with me, the good stuff is coming soon.  This takes place at the end of Harry and Co. 7th year, sometime in June. All reviews, corrections, suggestions and questions are welcome!! Read and enjoy!

The Price We Pay 

Chapter 1

Remus Lupin stepped aside as the mediwizards entered the dungeon cell and began to examine and treat yet another prisoner. He watched as they removed the chains from the hysterical witch and tried to calm her down enough to transport to St. Mungo's Hospital for further treatment.  She swore, screamed and clawed at them frantically before bursting into tears and begging to be let alone for one night.  Lupin shook his head sadly; many of the prisoners they had rescued had reacted in this manner when the door to their cells had opened.  Finally a mediwizard stunned the poor witch; it would easier for everyone if they did that for the ones too violent to deal with properly. The prisoners simply did not understand that they were being freed, not harmed. 

With a grim sigh Lupin left the cell and proceeded to the next door. He was surprised how extensive the dungeons of Riddle Manor were; they had explored the lower levels of Lord Voldemort's large mansion for most of the day and had found an alarming number of captives - 50 and counting. The search of Malfoy Manor the day before had revealed only a dozen prisoners, a majority of them muggles. Most of the prisoners in Voldemort's lair were magical folk reported missing during the last months of the war and were in horrible mental and physical condition.  Several mediwizards had excused themselves when they could not stomach the horrors inflicted on innocent people by Voldemort and his followers. So many lives had been ruined and lost forever.

He walked further down the dark stone corridor, holding his wand aloft to light his way. Cells that had been checked and opened were marked with a silver star and after winding his way through the dungeon for a minute Lupin heard someone shout his name from down a side corridor. Backtracking he came across a pair of frustrated wizards standing in front of a heavily bolted and warded door. This cell was located in an isolated part of the dungeon and Lupin wondered what was the problem now. 

Stopping in front of the door he glanced into the face of Bill Weasley, who had volunteered his curse breaking skills in cracking the many wards protecting the dungeon and manor itself. Lupin knew Bill wanted to be at the bedside of his brother Ron and sister Ginny, as they were still recuperating from their wounds in the Hogwarts Infirmary. He had finally been convinced they would be fine and that he should go and help people who needed him. The Weasley family had grown even closer following the deaths of Arthur and Percy 3 days ago during the final battle at Hogwarts. They had swallowed their grief and with heads held high Bill, Charlie and even the twins offered to help others affected by the war any way they could. Mrs. Weasley had only smiled sadly and chose to remain at Hogwarts with her youngest children, saying Arthur would have been proud of their efforts. Though dark circles of exhaustion and sorrow lined his eyes, Bill nodded his head at the door and said,

"There's someone in there, but that's all we've been able to scan. What concerns us now is the sheer complexity of the spells sealing this door. Someone, probably Voldemort judging by the power of the various curses and charms, went to a lot of trouble to keep this door closed from outsiders."

Lupin frowned as he considered this news and asked,

"Have you tried the normal counter charms and opening spells?"

"We haven't even attempted to open this door yet Remus. Mo here reckons one wrong move and things could get ugly real fast."

Lupin looked at a young witch by the name of Morgan Frost wearing Auror robes.  She was cradling her wand arm and he could see her hand had been slightly burnt by a hex from the sealed door. 

"Scorching hex got me when I simply tried to scan the area for hexes.  I specialize in charms and hexes sir and there are some here that I wouldn't touch by myself. Maybe with the three of us casting the counter spells we might have some effect." Frost reported with a cautious glance at the door. Lupin nodded his consent and they pointed their wands at the wooden door. At the count of three they each cast the same standard opening charm. Their spells were reflected back and they had to quickly duck to avoid them.  The door remained shut. Scowling now, Lupin watched as Bill Weasley cast an even stronger spell. Then another.  They had no effect. Bill swore in gobbledegook.

"Who is in there? What the bloody hell is going on?" Weasley growled as he finally gave up and turned confused eyes to Lupin. With a shrug he answered,

"I have no idea. Let's try again."

Again they raised their wands and cast a stronger spell. This time when the combined spells hit the door something happened, but it was not what they expected. A bright green light materialized in front of them and when it faded they stared in surprise at the dungeon door, which of course was still closed. But pinned to the wood was a scroll tied with a green ribbon and sealed with the crest of a snake and skull. Frost scanned the letter quickly for any hexes and gave the all-clear sign. Reaching out Lupin removed the note from the door and his eyes grew wide in shock as he stared at the front of the letter. In neat handwriting was written the name Albus Dumbledore. 

                                                           * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

Picking up his cup of tea Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and owner of many other titles and positions, sighed and stared out his office window while stroking his long white beard thoughtfully. The sun was just beginning to set behind a thin layer of gray clouds, bathing the school grounds in patterns of light and shadow. He could spot Hagrid returning from the Forbidden Forest with Fang, no doubt checking in on the centaurs and other creatures that offered their help in defending the castle from the attack 3 days ago. Had it really been 3 days since the magical world had gathered in these halls for the final battle with Lord Voldemort and his Death Eaters? He was still trying to process all that had happened in the previous week; it felt like years had passed, not a few days. 

Dumbledore shook his silver head and sipped his tea as he sat and thought about the families torn apart, the children slain defending their school and the countless other wizards and witches who risked everything to rid the world of Tom Riddle. He liked to think he had been the wise and venerable leader everyone looked to for inspiration and instruction, but despite his best efforts things had gone wrong and the children he was charged to protect had been forced to raise their wands against enemies far stronger than them. Even though the Order of the Phoenix had risen from the ashes like its namesake to reclaim control of the battle, so many innocent lives had already been taken. Neville Longbottom, Colin Creevey, Susan Bones, Blaise Zabini and Luna Lovegood, to name a few of his children who died fighting for the light. 

The Headmaster was really starting to feel his old age now and looked forward to a new era of peace blossom under the guidance of a new generation. Harry Potter would likely figure prominently in the years to come, having fulfilled the prophecy, as he and his classmates would work to make the wizarding world safe again for their children. Things were calming down and people would no longer need wizards like him to keep the peace and fight evil. Dumbledore had lived a very long, fulfilling life and it was time he retired someplace nice and perhaps take on some of the hobbies that muggles were so fond of, like gardening, stamp collecting and folk music. 

People would learn to live life to the fullest and cherish each day they lived without fear and the threat of Voldemort. Once the celebrations ended business would go on as usual. Of course, considering how long people celebrated the first downfall of Voldemort, Dumbledore would be surprised if the parties stopped before Christmas. He himself had yet to attend one of the many parties and gatherings being held because truth be told, Albus Dumbledore did not feel like socializing with his fellow wizards and witches. In a corner of his heart Dumbledore rejoiced privately with the memory of a man who deserved to celebrate the ruin of Voldemort more than anyone. He supposed Minerva McGonagall would drag him down to the formal school party when they finished restoring the Great Hall, but his thoughts always came back to the one person no one seemed to miss and whose contributions they did not remember. The one person he had let down and abandoned would never receive the recognition and credit due to him.

Severus Snape had been missing and presumed dead for 8 months now. He had been summoned on a cold night in October and had not been heard from or seen since. Dumbledore waited nervously throughout the night, as he always did, for his Professor to return; however this time his waiting was in vain. The Order of the Phoenix used all of its resources to locate the missing Snape, but they hit dead end after dead end. He had refused to listen to attempts to convince him that Severus was really gone, even snapping harshly at Minerva when she came to his office to hesitantly discuss hiring a new Potions Professor. At the end of the second month Dumbledore reluctantly declared it was assumed Snape had been finally discovered as a spy and was a casualty of war. It pained him to reveal this to the Order and in his heart he firmly believed Severus was alive.

His musings were interrupted by a knock on his office door and Dumbledore remembered he had asked Minerva to see him before dinner. He set down his cup, opened the door and smiled kindly at the stately witch. Professor McGonagall had been released from the Infirmary this morning and she was still recovering from being hit with two cruciatus curses at the same time. Despite her pale appearance her eyes were bright and she appeared as stern as ever.

"Thank you for coming Minerva, please sit down.  Can I get you some tea? Lemon drop perhaps?"

"No thank you Albus, I just had tea with Molly Weasley and will be going to dinner shortly. Poor dear needed a hot cup of tea somewhere calm."

"Ah yes how is Molly doing? I spoke with her yesterday but haven't had the time to have a real talk with her." Dumbledore sat down behind his desk and gazed at McGonagall over his half-moon glasses.

"As well as can be expected I suppose. Ron and Ginny will be fine, but she hasn't had the time to really grieve for Arthur or Percy. I sense she will need all the support we can give her in the weeks to come."

Dumbledore nodded sadly as he remembered the fierce battle between Arthur Weasley and Lucius Malfoy. It only took a momentary lapse in concentration for the Death Eater to slip the Killing Curse past Arthur's defenses. Too busy gloating over killing the muggle loving Arthur Weasley, Lucius failed to see the enraged Percy behind him until it was too late. The avenging son was later slain by an unknown Death Eater and the Weasley family lost two good, honorable people in the war.

"Of course, I will be sure to visit them tomorrow after breakfast." Dumbledore paused and with a heavy sigh dropped his gaze to the many papers on his desk. It was amazing how a war could produce so much paperwork. "I asked you here Minerva, to inform you about an important decision I have made regarding my future here at Hogwarts."

McGonagall stared at the old wizard apprehensively. His blue eyes twinkled at her but they had lost some of their spark. She could see the weight of his many years pressing down on Albus and it worried her immensely. He had never been the same since Snape disappeared and whatever he was about to tell her could not be good. 

"I have given this issue much thought and I have decided to resign as Headmaster of this school effective this summer. As Deputy Headmistress the position would obviously fall to you and you have the support of the Board of Governors. You will make a fine Headmistress of Hogwarts if I may say so myself."

For a long minute there was silence in the office as McGonagall processed this sudden declaration. This was not what she had expected to hear when Albus asked her to come up to his office before dinner. When she found her voice she said incredulously,

"Albus are you sure?! This is your life; Hogwarts would never be the same without you! Are you serious?"

"Quite serious Minerva. All things must change my friend and I have been planning this for some time. You underestimate your own influence here; this school will continue to thrive under your direction. You accept my proposal don't you?"

"Yes, yes of course Albus! But are you sure you should be leaving so soon after all that has happened? The children need you. The staff will need you. Now is not the time to be making radical changes."

Dumbledore merely smiled serenely as he gazed at his Deputy and trusted friend. Choosing to avoid her questions for the moment he popped a lemon drop in his mouth and exclaimed,

"Excellent! We should announce this as soon as possible and work on the radical changes, as you put them, over the summer once everyone has left."

McGonagall pressed her lips together to avoid frowning unhappily. Albus had not answered her questions and his mind appeared to be elsewhere tonight. She opened her mouth to reply when someone knocked loudly on the office door. Both wizard and witch jumped slightly and Dumbledore rose to greet his visitor. He had barely opened the door when Remus Lupin dashed in, breathing heavily and clutching something tight in his hand. 

"Remus!! What are you doing here? I thought you were overseeing the search of Riddle Manor? Did you find something interesting?"

Lupin stopped to catch his breath and gave Dumbledore an odd look. He held up the note in his right hand and replied,

"Interesting? Oh yes, I think this qualifies as _very_ interesting Headmaster."

Before he could say any more McGonagall had pressed a glass of water in his other hand and motioned for him to sit down while he told his tale. Dumbledore eyed the letter with the serpent seal with growing trepidation and curiosity. 

"Sorry for bursting in like this but I believe this cannot wait much longer. My team was freeing the prisoners from the dungeons when we came across a cell we couldn't open. Bill Weasley couldn't even get past the spells sealing this door and when we tried a stronger opening charm this letter appeared. It is addressed to you Albus."

With a slightly shaking hand Lupin handed the letter to Dumbledore, who stared in horror at the green seal of Lord Voldemort. He glanced at the other two and found the same fear and wonder he felt mirrored in their own eyes. His hands were incredibly steady as he broke the seal of the letter and unfolded it. Taking a deep breath he began to read.

_Dear Albus,_

_Congratulations! If you are reading this it means Potter has finally vanquished me and everything you fought for has come to a victorious end. While your associates are no doubt celebrating my permanent demise, I imagine you are sulking in your office thinking about lives saved and lost. Sentimental old fool. And knowing your misplaced affection for one traitorous life in particular it is my pleasure and honor to inform you to the final whereabouts of your Severus Snape._

_He is currently locked in the same dungeon cell where you found this letter. Yes he is still alive, death would have been too good for your spy, but in what state of mind he exists now I cannot really say. We have had our fun with him and I am returning him to you now.  Let me assure you, he was a delightful plaything for my *devoted* followers.  His screams were like music, his tears like the sweetest honey, his blood like the finest wine.  Maybe one day you will have the satisfaction of hearing him cry and beg underneath you while you take your pleasure from him.   Severus held out longer than I thought he would, a shame I will miss your reaction upon seeing just what your precious professor has become – a glorified whore. _

_The door is enchanted to open upon your touch alone. _

_Consider him my parting gift to you Albus. _

_Cordially Yours,_

_Tom Marvolo Riddle_

Before McGonagall or Lupin could ask what the letter said Dumbledore had already left his office and was running through the castle faster than anyone had seen him move.

                                                           * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

Standing in the dungeons of Riddle Manor only one thought was running through Albus Dumbledore's mind. Severus, _his_ Severus, was alive and behind this wooden door. Resisting the urge to blow this door and the entire mansion to dust Dumbledore took a deep breath and loosened his grip on his wand. He paid no attention whatsoever to the group of wizards waiting behind him and barely registered what Remus Lupin was asking him. Dumbledore reached out to grasp the iron handle of the door and found that Tom, for once, was not lying to him. Immediately all the complex and powerful spells Riddle had cast on the cell vanished and the door opened with a small click. With determined eyes and a grim frown Dumbledore swung the door open wider and entered the small cell.

The first thing that assailed his senses was the smell. Foul, noxious smells hit his nose and his stomach churned violently.  He did not pause to consider what was the source of the dark stench in fear of losing his lunch, the scent of blood and sex alone making him nauseous. Next was the complete darkness of the cell itself and Dumbledore used his wand to cast a dim light around the dirty, cold prison. A large rat scurried away through a hole in the stone and a puddle of brown liquid was forming in a corner. Blood, grime and other mysterious substances stained the walls and rusted chains hung menacingly at various heights around the cell. It was very cold and the impression of pain, fear and despair still hung in the air. Dumbledore absorbed all this in a second before his attention was drawn to a huddled form in the farthest corner from the door.

"Oh Severus." He breathed softly and made his frozen legs move to cross the length of the cell in two slow steps. Dumbledore felt his heart break as he sank to his knees next to the broken man. His movements were slow so not to scare Snape but the curled figure had not moved, nor even appeared he was aware he was no longer alone. 

He was naked, body curled into a tight defensive ball with head protected as much as possible from overhead blows. Thick iron chains encircled his wrists and ankles and to Dumbledore's horror a heavy metal collar connected by a chain to a hook in the wall encircled his pale throat.  He could see tendrils of dark magic, originating from the collar, winding their way through Snape's body and keeping his magic dormant.  His emaciated body was practically coated in blood and covered in dark bruises and many of his open wounds and sores were badly infected.  Dumbledore looked closer and was disturbed to see a total absence of sanity in Snape's dull black eyes, which were open and staring at the wall in front of him blankly. His mouth hung open at an odd angle and a thin line of drool trailed down to the ground. 

"Severus? It's me Albus." Dumbledore whispered concernedly. No response. 

With a surprisingly steady hand he touched Snape on the shoulder, being careful to avoid the fresh whip marks covering his already horribly scarred back. Snape finally reacted, violently flinching from his touch and dissolving into fierce trembling.  His breathing came in harsh pants and he tried to curl up even tighter into the corner. There was still no sign of recognition or awareness in that empty face. Dumbledore was just beginning to understand what Riddle meant in his letter by 'state of mind.' It was clear Snape had no mind.

          "Oh my poor Severus. I'm here, I'm finally here." He soothed and watched helplessly as Snape's trembling increased. Dumbledore released him from his chains with the wave of his wand and hoped Riddle was suffering a thousand deaths in whatever level of hell he was currently residing.  The collar he left on in the hopes a proper mediwitch could prepare Snape for the magical backlash when it was removed. Dumbledore took off his own cloak and hoped a warm touch would calm down the scared man enough for transport.

          As soon as his hands settled on the thin shoulders Snape recoiled and then went utterly still.  Thinking Snape had fallen unconscious Dumbledore was completely caught off guard when Snape began to fight him with all the strength left in his beaten body.  A clawed hand managed to catch him right in the throat and Dumbledore gasped, falling backwards.  Lupin and the mediwizards rushed forward to assist him, but the Headmaster raised his hand to stop them and hissed,

          "Stop!  I'm fine!  Don't come any closer!"

          The others reluctantly halted and moved back into the corridor.  Dumbledore whispered a spell to ease the throbbing pain in his throat and turned back to the wretched man on the ground.  Snape had stopped fighting and was curled back into a trembling ball.  Realizing the safest way to transport Snape was to stun him or force him to sleep, Dumbledore cast a strong sleeping charm and pushed the exhausted body into a deep slumber. The black eyes slipped closed and with a small sigh Snape went limp.  Trembling hands gently wrapped the fragile body in the warm folds of his cloak and Snape snuggled closer to the welcome warmth. 

With the alarmingly light body securely held in his arms Dumbledore rose and left the accursed cell. The pair of mediwizards from St. Mungo's stepped forward to take care of Snape but his arms reflexively tightened around the sleeping man, and he pinned the wizards with a glare that would have frozen a mad dragon.

"I am taking him back to Hogwarts. I will call for a Healer if we need further assistance." His cold tone brooked no argument and they hastily stepped aside. 

The Headmaster swept past them without another glance, cradling his precious burden to his chest as he left the dungeons. Only the shadows could see the tears rolling down into his white beard.

          *TBC* 

Thanks for all the reviews and words of encouragement!  I'm really glad you are enjoying this one as much as the original! Happy New Year everyone!

Reader Responses – 

_Zippy Zany_ – This version will be a lot different than the original and I will go into even more detail about Snape's much harder recovery.  'The Strength of a Slytherin was updated yesterday!

_Ta_ – I will focus more on Snape's mental recovery in later chapters and how the healing of the mind helps the healing of the body!  Thanks!

_Lilith11_ – I love angst, in all forms, which is one of the reasons I decided to write this version!

_Melissa Jooty_ – I couldn't resist the awesome power of the dark side! ;)  It was calling on me to write a much darker version and I'm glad everyone is enjoying this one as much as the original!

_Tall oaks_ – I decided to rewrite this fic into a darker slash version mostly for my own personal pleasure and satisfaction.  I also wanted to share the ultra angst with the readers!  Thanks for the editing tip!

_Renton_ – Lol!  You can think of this as the special edition of 'The Price We Pay.'  Complete with bonus features, added scenes and author commentary!  :)

_Madee_ – Aren't we all just a little twisted?  I know I am!  Thanks!

_All who wander_ – Thank you!

_Cloudshape_ – I'm glad you like this version too!!  Thanks!

_N Snape_ – I'm not sure if I'm going to have a SS/AD relationship in future chaps.  I'll make a decision soon though.

_Rosaleen_ – Thank you!

_Athena Keating-Thomas_ – Yes this one will be longer as there are _a lot_ more issues to deal with!  Stay tuned!

_BlueJeanBaybee_ – A new fan!  Welcome!  Thanks for the kind review!  Snape is my fave character too so expect him to be a big part in any of my fics!

_Melly_ – Thanks for the review!!


	3. Chapter 2

Title – The Price We Pay: R Version 3/12

Rating – R

Disclaimer – I own none of this, it all unfortunately belongs to Rowling.  I just have the honor of using her creations in my story.

Summary – Dumbledore returns to Hogwarts with Snape, the full extent of his injuries is revealed and a decision is made.

Pairings – SS/LV, SS/LM, SS/Death Eaters and hints of HP/DM 

Warnings – Violence, torture, non-graphic rape, m/m slash

A/N – Hope everyone had a happy holiday and is looking forward to a new year!  I'm glad you all are still enjoying this version!  All reviews, corrections, suggestions and questions are welcome!!  Read and enjoy!

The Price We Pay

Chapter 2

          Of all the things Minerva McGonagall had expected that day the shock of hearing Albus Dumbledore telling her he was resigning as Hogwarts Headmaster was nothing compared to the shock she received later that evening.  After he had dashed out of his office without so much as a word of explanation to them, letter still clutched in his hand, Minerva turned to Remus Lupin for answers.  The werewolf had explained that Dumbledore had put him in charge of searching the manors of killed Death Eaters for prisoners, fugitives and evidence that could be used against those they had captured.  He again told her about the circumstances of finding the letter before running after the Headmaster with a sigh.

          McGonagall was now pacing the length of the entrance hall, too anxious for dinner now, when the front doors of the castle swung open.  Startled she turned to see Dumbledore carrying someone wrapped in a cloak in his arms.

          "Albus!  What is going on?  Who is -"

          "I'll explain later Minerva." He interrupted, "I must get Severus to the Infirmary."

          "Severus!!" Shocked into further silence McGonagall stared open mouthed at Dumbledore who paused and smiled sadly at the burden in his arms.  She reached out a shaking hand to pull back the cloak, revealing Snape's bruised and bloody head tucked against Dumbledore's shoulder.  She gasped and tears immediately swelled in her horrified eyes.  She looked back up into sad blue eyes and could only shake her head dumbly. 

          "Hard to believe isn't it?  I'll tell you everything once Poppy has seen to him."  He told her and continued to the Infirmary, a thoroughly stunned McGonagall right behind him.

                                                           * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

          "You're cheating Malfoy."

          "Why, Potter, would I need to cheat when you are doing a brilliant job of losing all by yourself?"

          "I wouldn't be losing so much if you would stop cheating!"

          "Oh please!  Can't you two play a simple game without flirting?!  Would both of you just kiss already!"  

          Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy turned in their hospital beds to stare at Hermione Granger, who shook her head and turned back to her advanced charms textbook.  Harry smiled, while Draco sneered at her and Ron and Ginny Weasley snickered quietly from the other side of Harry's bed.  Hermione looked up and continued her tirade,

          "And you two can't play chess without physical fighting!  I'm surprised you've managed this long without coming to blows.  Siblings!!  You all should really be using this down time to study anyway.  You won't get time to yourself once you leave here, what with everyone waiting to hear our versions of the battle.  Fudge almost had a heart attack when Dumbledore forbid him from even entering the castle."

          "Study?  Come on Hermione, you know Dumbledore postponed exams and our N.E.W.T.s until July while they get everything straightened out.  We'll study later, I promise." Ron tried to appease the bushy haired Head Girl, "We can't leave the Infirmary yet anyway so a little relaxation after all that's happened isn't going to hurt.  And I'm not going to worry about Fudge, that stupid git.  I hope Dumbledore blasts him back to London."

          Hermione pinned the redhead in a glare and Ron wisely shut up, turning back to the chess game he was playing with his sister.  She then made sure they were not disrupting the other resting patients in the Infirmary and buried her nose back in her book.  

          "Come on Potter, let's show the _Head Girl_ we can actually play an honest game.  Without the flirting." Malfoy said and the two unlikely lovers went back to playing exploding snap.  Over the last year and a half the Slytherin and Gryffindor had formed a sincere, if cautious, friendship, later turning their friendship into love.  They had surprised students and staff alike when they stood to fight together during the attack on Hogwarts.  When asked what spurred the improbable change of heart Harry shrugged and Draco only said 'Professor Snape told me last year that sometimes you have put aside hatred and pride to defeat a common foe' before becoming strangely silent and moody.  No one had questioned their relationship again.

          A peaceful silence soon filled the Infirmary as the remaining patients settled down for a calm evening.  Only a dozen students remained in the care of Madame Pomfrey, the rest having been released or in the most serious cases, transferred to St. Mungo's with the injured members of the Ministry and Order of the Phoenix.  The Hogwarts nurse now walked between the aisles of beds, checking on her charges and making sure they all had dinner.  She had just reached Malfoy's bed when Headmaster Dumbledore burst into the Hospital Wing carrying a small bundle, Professor McGonagall hot on his heels. 

          "Poppy I require your assistance over here.  Is the private room available?"

          Pomfrey looked startled at the abrupt entrance but was completely professional as she waved them into the private room of the Infirmary.  The three adults disappeared into far room, leaving the students to share very confused glances and whisper amongst themselves.

                                                           * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

          Madame Poppy Pomfrey took one look at Snape, who was still wrapped in Dumbledore's cloak, and managed to suppress her own gasp of horror.  Years of healing the former spy had hardened her to the brutalities of Voldemort and other Death Eaters, but nothing could prepare her for the pathetic sight before her and she closed her eyes briefly to gather her strength.  Ignoring the many questions she wanted to ask at the moment she turned to the Headmaster with a frown and said firmly,

          "Wait outside with Minerva Albus.  Give me some time."

          Dumbledore actually growled at her and sat resolutely in a chair at the head of the bed, hard blue eyes never wavering from hers.

          "I'm not moving Poppy, so tell me what to do."

          Pomfrey sighed and knowing it was an argument she would lose, she let the older wizard stay.  She began to gather the many potions and supplies she would need, sending McGonagall to find clean blankets.  Turning back to the bed she smiled at the sight of Dumbledore gently stroking Snape's dirty cheek, whispering something in his ear.  Resting a hand on his shoulder she said in a softer tone,

          "Let's get him cleaned up and get his physical injuries healed first Albus."

          Dumbledore smiled weakly at her and together they unwrapped Snape from the cloak.  McGonagall returned with the blankets and set them on a table before excusing herself quickly to take care of the curious students.  Pomfrey caught the glint of tears in her eyes before she left.

          It took three tries of a cleaning spell before pale white skin could be seen and the rest of the blood and grime was gently wiped off with a sponge and warm water.  His hair had grown quite long and was so disgusting neither wanted to touch it.  It was so dirty and infested with vermin that Pomfrey was forced to shave it almost completely off with her wand.  

          Burns on Snape's stomach, chest and groin were treated with a salve, then a healing potion brushed over the skin.  Each and every cut and abrasion was healed with a potion she poured over the wounds, eliciting a faint grimace from their patient.  The worst of the infected sores and cuts Pomfrey had to cleanse with a very strong disinfectant spell, and then tightly cover with special bandages.  She administered an anti-fever potion and a potion to deal with magical infections.  Only time would tell if Snape would be strong enough to overcome the infection raging within him.  

          Whip marks crisscrossing Snape' back were treated with a mending potion then a strong healing spell.  Even the strongest magic could not remove all the scars and Pomfrey shared a sad look with Dumbledore as they stared at the thin, ropy marks.   

          The raw flesh of Snape's wrists and ankles were cleansed thoroughly before they too were wrapped in healing bandages.  The Dark Mark, Dumbledore noted, had vanished with the death of Voldemort and he rubbed a cool salve over the red, heavily scratched and scarred forearm.  The dark bruises that covered the pale skin were also healed with a potion brushed over the skin until they faded to a yellow-green.   

          Next Pomfrey moved to the numerous broken bones.  Snape's lower right leg had been broken in several places by something heavy and she had to use her wand to heal the compound fracture.  She teased almost a whole bottle of Ultra Skele-Grow down the unconscious man's throat and waited while it mended the broken collarbone, kneecaps and ribs.  His broken nose she set by hand and his broken jaw was gently guided into its correct position before being bound for further healing.  A gash dangerously close to his left eye was sealed and a blindfold was wrapped around his eyes to protect them from all light until they could adjust and be healed later with magic.  

          Reaching over Dumbledore gently picked up one of Snape's hands in his own.  The once elegant hands had been cruelly twisted and smashed into deformed claws.  The long fingers were broken no doubt by Voldemort who knew how much Severus needed his hands to make his treasured potions.  He wondered what the brutal injury had done to Snape's spirit.  

          Pomfrey looked up and placed he tip of her wand against the deformed hands to run a diagnostic spell.  Apparently satisfied with the results she then bound the hands securely so they could not move and said,

          "Could be worse Albus, but I think his hands should heal properly.  Someone obviously broke them repeatedly and then reset them to break again.  This time they didn't bother to set them; it is a common practice with torture victims that we know how to heal."

          The wizard nodded at her but did not look up or say anything.  Suppressing her sigh Pomfrey then scanned for internal injuries using another diagnostic spell.  She frowned at the results then cast the spell again to be absolutely positive of her results.  Praying to Merlin for strength she forced herself to meet Dumbledore's curious stare.  Pomfrey wondered if he had already guessed the full extent of Snape's injuries and how he had received most of them.  Now she did release a grim sigh and said,

          "He has some internal injuries I need to heal Albus."

          Dumbledore nodded, his eyes all too innocent and not quite aware of what the nurse was talking about.

          "Is there a potion you need me to retrieve Poppy?"

          "No.  I need to heal these injuries with my wand.  I will need you to roll Severus to his side and hold him in place while I do this." Pomfrey had tried to put the situation as delicately as possible and still Dumbledore's eyes widened in horror and his face paled to match the color of his beard.  He swallowed thickly a few times and said in a strangled voice,

          "I could almost sense the …sex when I entered his cell.  Riddle's letter alluded to such actions, but I did not want to believe him." He sighed, "Do what you have to Poppy."

          Pomfrey waited until Dumbledore had gently rolled Snape to one side before casting the spells necessary to heal the torn and mangled insides.  She nodded once to signify she was done and they repositioned the injured wizard on his back again.  Giving the Headmaster a few moments to recuperate, Pomfrey poured another potion down Snape's throat to heal his battered internal organs and made a lengthy note about his low weight and disturbing tremor on a waiting scroll. 

          The major wounds had finally been cleaned and tended and they wrapped Snape in the blankets and charmed them with a warming spell.  Pomfrey finally gave him a pain-relieving potion and placed him in a healing sleep to further aide the healing processes.  The physical injuries would eventually heal with time and rigorous therapy.  Dumbledore stroked a thin arm as the nurse sat down beside him and sighed wearily.  Never in all her years of healing had she seen such a horrible case of abuse and torture.  And the ordeal was truly just beginning.

          "I've done all I can for him Albus." Pomfrey began and then hesitated, "But I believe he should be moved to St. Mungo's as soon as possible.  They are better equipped to deal with any complications once he wakes.  There are experts to deal with that inhibiting collar and the overall trauma."

          The Headmaster turned his head slowly to look at her and she could clearly read the guilt and confusion in his eyes.  He shook his head replying,

          "No Poppy I will not leave him.  Severus will stay here and we will summon a healer if necessary.  I abandoned him to this and he will be my responsibility."

          She laid a hand over his and looked sympathetically at both the young man who had suffered through so much and the old wizard who was suffering along with him.  Pomfrey had picked up several strange readings during her diagnostic spells and knew it would take a lot of time and patience if Severus had any hope of getting better.

          "Albus I don't think you are understanding me here.  Severus is going to need the kind of care only St. Mungo's can provide.  He cannot stay here for very long.  I think St. Mungo's would be better for him in the long term."

          A cold demeanor suddenly came across Dumbledore and for a second Pomfrey was afraid she had said the wrong thing too soon.  He had just rescued Severus from hell on earth after believing him dead for so long.  Everyone, especially Albus, would need time to adjust.  Dumbledore's blue eyes flared dangerously as he replied,

          "I am not going to institutionalize him Poppy.  I just rescued him from a dungeon cell and I refuse to place him in another one.  Severus will get better, I will make sure of that." They stared at each other, neither backing down, the only sound being Snape's slow breathing.  Finally Dumbledore averted his gaze back to Snape and sighed sadly. "8 months Poppy, 8 months he was in the hands of a monster who took out his hatred of me out on him.  I was the one who sent him back to Riddle; he suffered through the last 3 _years_ because I asked him to.  I just found him, I cannot, I will not lose him again."

          "I know Albus, I know.  This has been yet another long, trying day.  Get some sleep and come back tomorrow morning and we can talk more then."

          "No Poppy I'll be staying here tonight.  We can talk now."

          Pomfrey smoothed the blankets and watched as Snape turned his head away from the hand stroking him.  In sleep the lines of pain and age had fallen off his face and he looked so very young.  Completely different from the sarcastic, greasy Potions Master who prowled the halls and terrorized the students with a tongue sharper than a dagger.  Instead he looked almost childlike, sleeping somewhat peacefully.  'Unfortunately,' thought Pomfrey, 'that may be what he will be like when he wakes.'

          "All right.  But the moment this all becomes too much for Severus I'm owling the healers at Mungo's and making arrangements for his transfer." Another pause from Pomfrey and Dumbledore had the distinct feeling he was not going to like what she was about to tell him. "When I scanned him earlier some unusual readings came up.  I can see right away he is malnourished and the tremor comes from repeated use of the cruciatus.  I suppose he is lucky there, You-Know-Who clearly wanted him to be sane and functional to a point because its use was regulated.  The inhibiting collar is suppressing his natural magical abilities and keeping him helpless.  It should be taken off right away, tomorrow we can prepare for its removal.  All these things can be cured in time and don't really concern me.  It's the other results of the scan I am worried about."

          "What could possibly be worse than what we have seen tonight Poppy?"

          "His state of mind Albus.  I also read multiple overdoses of Veritaserum and other powerful mind altering potions, which have dangerous long-term side effects on certain areas of the brain.  His magical signature seems broken or altered somehow.  The only explanation I have for it is that Voldemort must have finally broken through his mental shields, took a look around and didn't bother picking up the shards.  Even the best Occlumens, like Severus, could be overcome by a strong enough will.  Factor in the physical torture and sexual abuse and things don't look good.  What all this means is that we won't know his mental capacity or emotional state until he wakes."   

          Silence followed her explanation.  The Headmaster removed his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose saying,

          "Thank you Poppy, for everything.  Would you please tell Minerva I am calling an emergency staff meeting tomorrow morning after breakfast?"

          "Of course.  Severus should sleep for the night without any problems, but come and get me if anything should happen.  We'll get him through this Albus, he's stronger than you think."

          With that Pomfrey exited the room, closing the door securely behind her.  Dumbledore stared at the door for a while then looked back to Snape.  The ill wizard did not move save for the random twitching of limbs and the tremor.  He spent hours soothing his lost child before the reassuring sounds of his soft breathing lulled him to sleep.

                                                           * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

          The next morning Dumbledore woke when he felt another presence enter the small room.  Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, he groaned as sore muscles protested against spending the night in an uncomfortable chair.  He glanced over at Snape, who was still sleeping deeply with face turned towards the pale sunlight drifting in through the window.  Brushing back the short strands of black hair Dumbledore remembered the reason for his waking and turned to meet the cool gaze of Draco Malfoy.

          Malfoy was standing at the foot of Snape's bed, watching his former professor with sad gray eyes.  No other emotion was readable on his face as he stood with arms hanging limply at his side.  Dumbledore wondered how Draco had managed to sneak past the usually strict Pomfrey to enter this room, but then realized the crafty Slytherin would disregard any rules to satisfy his curiosity.  

          "Good morning Mr. Malfoy.  I see last night did not escape your notice."  

          Young Malfoy said nothing but continued to stare at his former Head of House.  A hand came up to hold his left forearm self-consciously and he said in a strained voice,

          "I promise you Headmaster I had no idea he was alive.  My _father_ told me nothing except Professor Snape was _getting what he deserved_." These last words were sneered as Malfoy continued to rub the bandages of his left arm; "I swear I had no idea where he was."

          The Headmaster rose and stood by the young man who had given so much to the Order.  For all the accusations of unfairness and blatant favoritism thrown at Professor Snape, he protected and guided his Slytherins like no one else at the school could have done.  He deftly encouraged them to make their own choices and not succumb to the pressure their parents leveled on them.  When the time came Slytherin House stood with the rest of the school and many of his charges, led by Draco, surprisingly turned away from Lord Voldemort and their parents.  

          Draco Malfoy, for all his pride, arrogance and attitude, had taken the loss of Professor Snape quite hard.  Dumbledore had been pleased, but not very surprised, to find the younger Malfoy waiting for him in his office shortly before winter break.  He had casually revealed the Dark Mark on his arm and then vowed to honor Snape by offering the same spying services to the Order of the Phoenix.  How Draco knew Snape had been their spy the Headmaster did not ask, but he suspected Lucius might have inadvertently told a few things to his son that should not have been revealed.  It had taken several weeks before Dumbledore could trust the information the jaded Slytherin brought him and eventually he developed a working relationship with the proud Slytherin similar to the one he had with Snape.  In the months that followed Malfoy insisted he did not know what had happened to Snape and would snap viciously at anyone who suggested otherwise.  Guilt, it appeared, was in abundance this morning.

          "I believe you Draco.  This is nobody's fault but Voldemort's.  We will make a school wide announcement concerning Professor Snape after breakfast.  You best return to your bed now before Madame Pomfrey discovers you are gone."

          Malfoy tore his eyes away from Snape to smirk and answer,  "Actually I talked Potter and Weasley into covering for me while I came in here."  The smirk abruptly vanished and turned into a pained grimace.  He swallowed and closed his eyes briefly, as if gathering the strength to continue.  When Malfoy opened his eyes, they were quite solemn, "Did they …was he… my father probably did…" He trailed off uncertainly.

          "I think you know the answer to your own questions Draco." Dumbledore answered gently, "But yes, there are signs of repeated sexual abuse and torture and one can only assume your father was involved.  Surely during meetings you-"

          "NO!!  Absolutely not!  There was no bloody way I would have participated in the Dark Revels or interrogation sessions.  My father may have enjoyed raping and torturing others, but I am _not_ my father." Malfoy stopped his rant and asked softly, "Will he be all right Headmaster?  Can I visit him when he wakes?"  

          "We don't know Mr. Malfoy." Dumbledore replied honestly, "As to further visits, I doubt Madame Pomfrey will allow visitors for quite some time.  Unfortunately Severus is in a very fragile mental state right now and I don't think it would be safe for _you _to visit until he can differentiate between you and Lucius." Malfoy practically shook in anger at this regrettable revelation and Dumbledore put a comforting hand on the Slytherin's shoulder. "Have hope and a little faith in Severus Draco, give him some time.  Now back to bed with you, perhaps you will be able to visit later."

          Malfoy frowned at him before nodding hesitantly.  He took one last look at his professor and slipped out of the room as quietly as he had come.  Dumbledore stared at the door, admiring the devotion the Slytherins had to their Head of House then sat back down.  He absently ran his fingers over the shorn head, murmuring to himself, 

          "Where did things go wrong Severus?  When did we fail you?  Oh my love I am so sorry.  More sorry than you will ever know." He became lost in his own guilty thoughts for a while, watching the sleeping man and turning Pomfrey's words over in his mind.  Snape would not be the same man he was before he was captured, that much was clear.  He would need time and gentle handling if he was to recover.  Slowly his heart came to a decision and he smiled, pleased with himself.  Dumbledore knew exactly what he would do now that Hogwarts would no longer be a part of his life.  He would have the all the time and love in the world to take care of Severus, to help him heal.    

          Dumbledore sat going over his options until a knock at the door caused him to look up.  Pomfrey came in and began attending to her patient, changing bandages, casting more healing spells and giving him more potions.  The nurse finished with her work and told him,

          "He should sleep a bit longer.  I'll check for any leftover curses and examine the collar while you are at your meeting.  Take the morning to freshen up and eat Albus.  I do not want to see you here as a patient."

          "Thank you Poppy.  I'll return shortly then.  Let me know if anything changes."

          Pomfrey nodded and walked with him to the doors of the Infirmary.  As he walked up to his office Dumbledore knew in his heart he had made the right choices and he was going to see them through to the end.  Now he had to explain his choices to his staff.  

                                                           * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

          Trying to be heard over Hagrid's sudden wailing Dumbledore gave a sharp whistle and waited until the attention of the staff returned to him. Hagrid continued to blubber incoherently into his handkerchief though he calmed down enough for the Headmaster to continue.  The staff had been saddened to hear about Snape and stunned to hear about his retirement and asked the normal curious questions while offering to take turns sitting with the injured professor.  Snape and the rest of the staff may have had their numerous angry arguments in public, but in private they had grudgingly learned to respect the Potions Master and Snape had learned to tolerate the presence of his colleagues.  Some of the staff, like McGonagall and Sinistra, had even earned Snape's tentative friendship, something the Headmaster said was not given easily.  But while even Dumbledore grew frustrated and angry with Snape at times, only he could claim ownership of something even more valuable.  Snape's trust.  He just hoped this shell of the former Severus retained some of that inherent trust.

          "Like I said before I will be assisting Minerva in the transition over the summer.  I expect her to have your usual support as she assumes more of my duties and responsibilities.  Which brings me to my next announcement." A fond smile formed on Dumbledore's lips, "Once the transition is final I will be retiring to my summer home with Severus and I am making it my _new_ responsibility to assist with his recovery."

          This announcement was met with encouraging smiles and various bits of advice from everyone.  Once again Hagrid burst into tears murmuring, "Great man, Dumbledore," into his now very wet handkerchief.  The staff meeting ended on a bittersweet yet supportive note.  Dumbledore took a few minutes to reassure each of his professors personally that he was firm in his decisions and he would always be there to support Hogwarts.  Finally the staff reluctantly left to attend to various business around the castle, leaving Dumbledore and his deputy alone.  Dumbledore sighed and stroked his beard, lost in his thoughts again.  He found he could barely concentrate on other school matters, his mind always drifting back to Severus.  Minerva, it appeared, was thinking the same thoughts as she finally stood and said,

          "We'll never get work done now Albus.  You look dead on your feet and in need of some food and rest.  I'll take care of the announcements to the students during lunch."  The witch patted his shoulder and straightened her hat before exiting the office.  Deciding to follow the advice of the two fiery witches and avoid an argument over his own health, he washed and changed robes then ordered some lunch from the house elves.  Anxious to return to the Infirmary, Dumbledore was hurrying through his meal when he heard his name being called through the castle floo network.  He was very surprised and worried when Pomfrey's grave face appeared in his fireplace.  She glanced back over her shoulder at someone, concern in her voice as she exclaimed, 

          "Albus!!  Severus is awake!  Please get down here right away!"

          *TBC*

Reader Responses - 

_Renton_ – Oh yes, this will be way more intense than the first one, hope you're prepared!!

_Lilith11_ – I haven't quite decided yet if this will have SS/AD slash, I'll make a decision in a few chaps.  I also consider them more like father and son, but I'll see where this one takes me before I decide to write them in a definite sexual relationship!

_Alle_ – The middle chaps will have the heaviest changes, so be sure to stay tuned!

_Rosaleen_ – I love to spoil you readers!  You spoil me with your awesome reviews!  :)

_Droxy_ – Oh yes I can make this darker! *Grins evilly* You want darker?  You got it!  ;)

_N Snape_ – More angst coming right up!  Thanks!


	4. Chapter 3

Title – The Price We Pay: R Version 4/13

Rating – R

Disclaimer – I own none of this, it all belongs to Rowling.  I just have the honor of using her creations in my story.

Summary – Snape awakens.

Pairings – SS/LV, SS/LM, SS/Death Eaters

Warnings – Violence, torture, non-graphic rape, m/m slash

A/N – Due to reader feedback and my own feelings on the matter I have decided to **_not_** write a slash relationship between Snape and Dumbledore.  They will remain sex free and more like the father/son mentor-like relationship in the original version.  Sorry to those who wanted it, you could probably think of them that way if you really wanted to, but it will **_not_ **be rewritten with slash in mind.  With that important news out of the way, all reviews, corrections, suggestions and questions are welcome!  Read and enjoy!! 

The Price We Pay

Chapter 3

          Consciousness returned slowly to him, which was very odd because he was used to snapping awake at the first sign of someone even approaching his cell.  He struggled through the layers of sleep; he hated being caught unawares and wanted to know just what tortures they had planned for him today before shutting down his mind and disconnecting himself from painful reality.  Sometimes it was better to be unaware of the torments being inflicted on his body and safer to flee to the fogginess of his broken mind.  

          This time however he paused to wonder about the sensations that penetrated the haze of his mind.  There was a voice speaking somewhere above him, but it was a soft, quiet voice, very different from the harsh or mocking voices of his captors so he ignored it.  He did not understand what it was saying anyway and did not feel like expending the energy necessary to identify the words.  It would let him know what it wanted sooner or later with magic, a fist or a jerk of his collar.  

          Instead he took stock of his body and was quite surprised, and a little afraid, to discover many of his aches and pains had been healed.  Usually when his wounds were healed it meant fresh ones were about to be inflicted.  But pleasant warmth enfolded him, driving away the bitter cold that filled his bones and gave him some measure of strength to his weakened body.  He suddenly felt like crying at the kindness that was being given to him.  He had been deprived of basic human needs and comforts for so long this simple consideration was almost too much for him.    

          Trying to open his eyes to see where he was, he found they were bound with a blindfold.  After living in the dark for so many months, the absence of sight did not really bother him.  Strangely enough, he was still able to perceive the awesome light and life around him.  Focusing his feeble energy on the threads of light magic surrounding him, he struggled to remember what was so important about the light and the different threads of magic.  The light reminded him strongly of a place he used to know and his mind was able to find a few scattered memories of a hidden castle, shifting staircases and enchanted ceilings.  He hoped he would be able to recall more of this castle as he had the feeling it was one of the few good memories he had.  The light was like a balm on his dark and battered soul, even if it did make his head pound with an unnatural headache.  

          Everything was all very soothing to his extremely sore body and he was actually enjoying the new game the Dark Lord was playing with him now.  He was torn between giggling with delight at the new sensations and hiding in fear from them.  Whatever was going on he was sure it would only end in pain and humiliation for him.  It always did.

          The soft voice returned and the warmth blanketing his body began to fade.  He wanted to hold on to the blankets or tell the voice to not take the comforting heat away, but his heavy limbs would not obey him and he knew it was pointless to use his voice.  Frowning in confusion he wondered why the voice was taking away something good.  He must have done something wrong and was being punished.  Since he could not understand what the voice was trying to tell him, he resigned himself to this new game and gave up.  There was nothing he could do about it, as he had been so often reminded.  He was a whore, a plaything for wizards more powerful than himself.  

          He gasped when the first tendrils of healing magic invaded his body and began to destroy the few lingering curses placed on him by the Dark Lord.  Then they carefully probed the magical collar holding his powers dormant.  He was surprised when the curses were removed, though surprise then turned to fear, as he knew the Dark Lord would not be pleased, not at all.  That grim thought caused him to shiver in anticipated pain and he quickly sank back into the haze of his mind, concentrating on nothing in particular.  

          Only when a new, deeper voice started to speak did he struggle back through the haze to find out what was going on.  He frowned inwardly as the noises only made his headache worse.  His head was throbbing now in time with the rest of his bodily aches and it was harder than usual to think and pay attention.  The deep voice was speaking again and as he lay there half listening there was _something_ about this voice that triggered a reaction deep in his mind.  Broken memories shifted around until one memory in particular came together with startling clarity.  It wasn't often he could remember things with perfect lucidity, but the now familiar voice brought this memory to the front of his mind. 

          His mind played and replayed images of a moving tree, a dark tunnel and a snarling, ferocious beast.  The memory ended with the beast reaching for him with long claws and suddenly he realized who was the owner of the deep voice that was in the room with him right now. 

          _Werewolf_.  

          He began to shake in fear and helplessness and his body twisted in the blankets, seeking to flee the monster of his nightmares.  The small rational part of his mind knew the werewolf was not a danger to him now, but the fear of the memory, combined with the fear of his current situation compelled him to escape and hide.  

          The werewolf was speaking to him again, voice quite loud in his ears, though he paid no attention to it; his attention was now focused on hiding.  He was working on untangling himself from the blankets, which was a lot harder given he was still very weak, when large hands suddenly gripped his shoulders, trapping him to the bed.  

          Memories of a different sort overwhelmed him.

          Memories of lustful grins, hot tongues and cold, pale skin.  Memories of bruises on his hips, harsh grunts and cruel hands holding him down.  These all too clear memories flooded his mind and made him freeze in absolute terror.  

          NO!!  He could not let it happen again.  He could not let the hands hold him down while the others … no, he did not want to remember what came next.  His spirit and mind could not take another assault and he summoned the last of his resistance and waning strength to fight back.    

          Gasping, he lashed out blindly, fighting desperately to save his sanity and body.  He thrashed and managed to hit the werewolf.  The hands on his shoulders left and the werewolf stepped away with a groan.  Now that he was free he frantically escaped the bed he was laying on, breathing heavily and on his way to a full-fledged panic attack.  

          He landed on the floor with a hard thump, jarring his healing wounds and sending low waves of pain throughout his sensitive body.  The sudden pain reminded him of more recent tortures and he began to hyperventilate in absolute fear.  Still tangled in the blankets he was unable to stop shaking or even see where the voices and hands were, but that did not stop him from trying to hide.  He huddled on the floor and curled into a small ball, withdrawing into himself to escape the monsters.  Maybe this time they would forget about him and go play with someone else.    

          With a small whimper he began rocking, wishing for someone to stop this living nightmare.

                                                           * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

          Stepping away from the bed Remus Lupin groaned and rubbed his sore nose, scowling at Snape.  His anger quickly faded when he looked down at the frantic, terrified man on the bed.  He then realized Snape's panicked response was clearly a defensive reaction to months of violent captivity.  Lupin was torn between again attempting to calm Snape down and running to find Madame Pomfrey.  But he stood motionless, eyes locked on the scene playing out before him, legs unable to move.  

          He did not mean to cause such a severe reaction from Snape and felt horrible that he had failed to carry out Pomfrey's simple instructions.  Lupin had been visiting Harry and his friends that morning, keeping them up to date with news from around the wizarding world and reports from within the Order of the Phoenix.  The werewolf was enjoying a nice talk with Harry when Madame Pomfrey had asked him if he could assist her with removing any remaining curses from their new patient.  He knew Snape was alive, having personally seen Dumbledore rescue the former spy from Voldemort's manor, however it was still strange seeing him in a hospital bed, looking deathly ill.  After Pomfrey had purged Snape of curses she examined that hideous looking collar and asked for his thoughts concerning the dark magic that was the source of the collar's powers.  They had talked for a little bit and then he had agreed to keep an eye on Snape while Pomfrey left to prepare his numerous potions.  When Snape appeared to be in the midst of a nightmare Lupin had tried to calm the agitated wizard.  Everything he said and did only served to upset Snape further and he inadvertently made it worse by touching the traumatized victim. 

          "Poppy!!  Come in here quick!"  Lupin called out and frowned when Snape flinched and scooted further away from him, curling on the floor like a frightened child.  Pomfrey hurried in with a tray full of potions, which she set down on a table, and came to stand next Lupin.  Her eyes went wide as she exclaimed,

          "What did you do Remus?!  What happened?"

          "I don't know!  He was having a nightmare and I was just talking to him, trying to help him wake up when he suddenly panicked!  I couldn't get him to calm down!"

          Pomfrey stared at Snape, who had started to make small whimpering noises and shook her head weakly.  She cast undecided glances between Snape and the door and Lupin noticed she was holding her wand tightly in one hand.  Making up her mind she slipped her wand back up her sleeve and took a cautious step forward, crouching beside the bed and appearing as non-threatening as possible.  Pomfrey held out her hands and slowly inched forward, saying in a very soft voice,

          "Severus?  It's me Poppy.  Everything will be all right.  Let's just get you back to bed so I can treat your wounds.  Will you let me do that for you Severus?"

          There was no response from Snape and Pomfrey repeated her litany to no effect.  When she shifted forward to touch Snape, the ill wizard flinched and gave a hoarse moan.  A brief feeling of relief passed through the nurse as she realized her efforts to remove the curses from Snape had been successful.  One curse in particular had been very effective in silencing Snape's voice and she was worried the curse might have permanently damaged the vocal cords.  Even his pathetic moan was encouraging though and with time that silky, oh so dangerous voice would be in use again.  

          Her relief turned to sorrow when Snape began to tremble and whimper piteously.  Realizing neither she nor Lupin would be able to effectively calm Snape right now, Pomfrey slowly stood and turned to Lupin.

          "Don't touch or say anything to him.  I'm going to summon Albus."

          Nodding, Lupin watched her go and stood feeling very helpless.  He had the impression that if Snape were stronger he would be screaming and violently fighting them.  His heart suffered as he considered what abuse and torture Snape must have endured to be reduced to this miserable state.  He felt a deep pity for the once proud Slytherin.  There was no trace of the sarcastic, angry and ambitious Snape he knew and briefly Lupin wondered what Sirius Black would have thought of the hated Snivellus right now.

          Hushed whispering behind him made Lupin turn and see Pomfrey return with a very concerned Dumbledore.  Snape had now worked himself into the corner, shaking and hyperventilating in sheer fear and confusion.  Lupin backed away to the door with Pomfrey and they watched the Headmaster approach the terrified Snape.  

          "Severus?  Child, it's me Albus.  Remember?  You're safe now Severus.  It's all right."

          Dumbledore approached Snape as he did in that awful dungeon cell, with slow movements and a kind voice.  He kept repeating his soothing words in a calm tone as he slowly knelt by Snape, who was now completely tangled in the blankets and pressed up against the wall.  The blindfold had slipped off and black eyes were filled with tears, peering out at them warily.  There was a glimmer of awareness in those sad orbs, but fear prevented Snape from moving or speaking. Dumbledore reached out his hands and gently laid them on the quivering body in front of him.  Snape flinched from his touch and a low keening began in the back of his throat.  Undaunted, Dumbledore soothed Snape with light, gentle strokes and a soft voice until the trembling wizard slowly began to calm down.  Snape relaxed from his tight ball and stopped his pitiful whimpering, but continued to cry and breathe in harsh pants.  

          Confident now that he had Snape's trust, Dumbledore pulled the blankets around him before pulling the entire body into his arms, murmuring reassurances all the while.  Snape resisted at first, pushing feebly against the older wizard and twisting uncomfortably in the embrace.  But Dumbledore did not give up and soon Snape relaxed even more into his arms, resting his head against the warm chest, finally feeling safe listening to the comforting heartbeat of the older wizard.  The damaged hands buried themselves in the long white beard, holding on as tight as they could.  Snape tired quickly and went limp, tears falling from fever-glazed eyes and rolling down an emotionless face.  Dumbledore sat back against the wall, pulling Snape fully into his lap and crooned softly to the hurt wizard as Snape began to doze.  

          The Headmaster looked up at them and nodded at their unspoken questions, not wanting to break the calm of the moment to speak aloud.  Pomfrey and Lupin returned the nod and quietly left the private room, discreetly wiping their own tears away.

                                                           * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

          He was lost amongst unpleasant and fractured memories, hiding from a reality of fear and pain when something new pierced the dark haze of his mind.  

          A kind, comforting voice, different from the other ones, yet very familiar, penetrated the mental and physical pain and drew his attention away from the paralyzing terror.  His headache vanished with the words the voice spoke and waves of peace swept over his exhausted body.  This kind voice continued to speak to him, weaving its own type of magic around him, showing him love, compassion and serenity.  He was keenly reminded of warm summer days, gentle smiles and eyes that twinkled like stars.  The voice, combined with a warm touch, healed the holes in his soul and showed him that with time, everything would be all right.  He knew instinctively that this voice would never lie and would never take advantage of him.  It would never leave him alone and would always be there to heal his hurts.  This voice had sheltered him from the darkness, guided him when he was lost and had given him a second chance when no one else would believe him. 

          Memories returned to him then, but these memories very different from the ones that held him frozen in terror and pain, and his broken mind eagerly welcomed them.  

          He remembered this voice.  He remembered his protection, his trust and his guidance.  He was safe, back where he belonged.  He remembered who was holding him, who was speaking to him and he relaxed into Albus Dumbledore's arms with a soft sigh.  

                                                           * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * 

          After a while the old wizard looked down at the person in his arms and said with a slight grin, "I'm too old to be sitting on the floor Severus.  How about we move back to the bed hmm?  I'll tell you what you've missed here at Hogwarts." Carefully lifting the awake but unresponsive Snape he positioned himself on the bed, tucking the blankets back around the slim, pale body and leaned back against the headboard.  Dumbledore was still concerned about Snape's reaction to touch and sound, especially since they appeared to trigger certain memories, memories that he was certain no one would want to relive again.  However he was immensely relieved that Snape allowed him to approach and accepted his touch.  The spark of awareness that shone in those black eyes was cause for a smile.  With Snape securely settled in his arms he began to speak in a low voice,

          "Well Severus, as you can imagine a lot has happened in the last 8 months.  Voldemort is dead, his followers are gone and we have won the war.  Harry fulfilled the prophecy, as we all knew he would.  They fought the last battle here, at Hogwarts, and though we suffered our fair share of losses we still emerged victorious." He spoke about defending the castle from dementors and Death Eaters, how the older students protected the younger ones from a group of dementors that managed to infiltrate the castle, how the Order of the Phoenix was almost overwhelmed by Death Eaters before an army of Aurors arrived and he retold the final duel between Harry and Voldemort.  

          Stopping for a moment Dumbledore looked down at Snape and was troubled to see him sitting docilely, eyes half lidded, not moving or reacting on his own.  This behavior was so unlike Severus that he felt a surge of anger toward Voldemort for breaking such a strong, unique spirit.  Dumbledore cared immensely for every single student that walked the halls of Hogwarts, but occasionally, throughout his long years, he would develop a special place in his heart for the truly extraordinary children, the ones whose spirit burned bright and pure.  Even when they had graduated and became productive adults it was not unusual for the Headmaster to watch over his adopted children like a father would his own child.   

          Severus, the dark Slytherin child that everyone avoided, the Death Eater who begged for a second chance and the professor the students quickly learned to hate, would be more of a son to Dumbledore than any other child.  For all his faults and crimes Severus had a bright soul and a pure heart that Dumbledore loved unconditionally.  He could not really explain why he felt that way toward Severus of all people, but he did and he did not care what anyone else thought about it.  Severus was his child and no one else's.

          Sighing Dumbledore placed an affectionate kiss on the top of the black-haired head and continued his one sided conversation with Snape about his retirement and summer plans.  At one point Snape shifted slightly in his arms and his eyelids fluttered like he was trying to wake up but could not make the final connection.  

          "Severus?  Can you understand me?  It's Albus." Dumbledore waited patiently as Snape struggled for a long minute before opening his eyes all the way.  He blinked rapidly in the sunlight then turned to hide his face in the Headmaster's long beard.  Delighted with this response Dumbledore smiled and whispered encouraging words in Snape's ear.  The ill wizard leaned back and slowly lifted his head, teary black eyes rising to meet twinkling blue eyes.  His brow furrowed in concentration; it was clear he was desperately trying to formulate complete thoughts and communicate.  Just as Dumbledore thought Snape was going to finally going to respond to him there was a knock at the door and Pomfrey reentered the private room.

          Any bond Dumbledore had made or was about to make with Snape was shattered at that moment.  Snape hid his face in the white beard and shrank back into the protective arms, while retreating into the shadows of his mind, fear taking hold once again.  Releasing a breath he did not know he was holding Dumbledore felt frustrated and sad at the interruption and hoped there was a chance for recovery for his child.  He looked up at Pomfrey, who appeared apologetic and curious as she sat down next to them and said,

          "I'm truly sorry for interrupting, but Severus needs his potions now and I can't wait much longer.  What happened?"

          "I believe we almost had a breakthrough Poppy.  Severus is in there somewhere, just buried under all this pain and darkness.  I need more time with him."

          "You have plenty of time Albus, if you will recall, just be patient.  Did he seem aware of his surroundings or react in any way?"

          "He looked at me," replied Dumbledore, "and seemed close to responding to me.  But he shied away when you entered.  Why?"

          "The panic attack worried me.  I think it is indicative of larger mental and emotional problems that we don't have the means to treat properly.  I am just a certified magical nurse, I'm not a trained trauma witch or mind-therapist.  Actually my niece is a fully licensed trauma witch and has been working at St. Mungo's for several years helping victims of the war.  I can owl her this afternoon and have her stop by in a few days." Pomfrey said, hoping Dumbledore would take her advice.  When he remained silent she sighed and went to retrieve the tray of potions and supplies from the side table.  Perhaps later when everyone had calmed down she would again discuss the subject with him.

          They let Snape remain curled next to Dumbledore on the bed to avoid another panicked breakdown and the Headmaster admitted he did not want to let go of Snape just yet.  Pomfrey administered the next set of healing potions and when she was done she cleaned up the room and returned to sit in the chair.  Dumbledore listened attentively as the nurse went over Snape's diminished mental abilities, fragile emotional state and his weak physical condition.  They had already witnessed the kind of behavior they could expect from Snape and Pomfrey stated he would need constant supervision.  She was confident he would heal physically in a matter of weeks and hopeful that with tender care the magical tears in his mind would repair themselves.  Only time would reveal whether or not Snape would be the same man before this ordeal.

          "Someone should be with him at all times just in case.  We'll organize something with the staff when you're too busy." Pomfrey finished and pulled out a vial of sleeping draught from her robes. "Severus should sleep as much as possible today.  I'm amazed he broke out of the healing sleep, so I'll give him something to keep him in it.  I'll stay with him while you help Minerva with the students.  She had a large group of Slytherins this morning demanding to see Severus and I doubt they have yet to stop pestering her for information."

          "Yes well, that House can be very persistent when they put their minds to it.  I best go help Minerva then.  I shall return after dinner." Dumbledore replied absently and moved to settle Snape fully on the bed after Pomfrey had administered the draught.  He paused and stood gazing at Snape for a while, deep in thought.  Pomfrey waited as he tucked the blankets snugly around the sleeping wizard.  Finally he sighed and removed his glasses to rub a hand over his eyes.  He looked up at the nurse and his expression was one of resignation and cautious hope.

          "Owl your niece Poppy.  You're right of course.  Severus does need professional care, but I would prefer to keep him here if possible.  I would be most grateful if your niece could spare a few days to come to Hogwarts and examine him."

          "I'll owl Belladonna this afternoon.  I'm sure she will be willing to come and treat Severus.  I will let you know when her answer arrives."

          Dumbledore nodded and gently touched Snape's cheek in farewell.  When he stood Pomfrey could almost see the burden lift from his shoulders.  She was relieved the Headmaster had seen the need for outside help and was confident her niece would be able to help Snape somehow.  Healing was a part of the Pomfrey family and they always did their best to help those in need.  

          The road to recovery was just beginning, and it was off to a promising start.  

          *TBC*

Well you are in for a real treat.  The next chapter will be brand new, with new characters, developments and insights!  I'll try to have it up soon.  Thanks to everyone who offered their opinion on the SS/AD slash relationship; you really helped me come to a final decision!!  :)

Reader Responses - 

_Lilith11_ – Yes, the image of my grandfather as a "sexual being" _really_ turned me off to that kind of slash relationship!  *Shudder*  ;)

_Peikkolapsi_ – Thank you!

_Zippy zany_ – Snape will be silent for longer this time and I haven't decided if I'm going to feature the Harry and Draco relationship more.  I know, I know, I really need to make all these important decisions faster!!  :)

_Labidolemur_ – You bring up several very important points and I actually took them all into consideration before I even sat down to rewrite this fic.  Dumbledore and Pomfrey are _not_ capable of treating Snape alone in this version and outside help will come in the next chapter!!  Between this outside counselor and Dumbledore's love, we will see Snape slowly begin to recover.  Thanks for the input!

_All who wander_ – This version will be just a chapter longer – the next chapter will be brand new and other chapters will be longer or shorter as I rewrite them.  I will have a SS/AD version at adultfanfiction.net when I'm done with this version in case you're interested!

_Alym_ – Thanks for the review!!

_Caligula_ – Sorry bout the cliffhanger!  Expect another one in the future!  Thanks!

_Limited Sanity_ – I'm glad you are enjoying this version as much as the original!  Thanks for the review!

_N snape_ – You're very welcome!  I enjoy giving my readers fic-gifts even more than I enjoy getting your lovely reviews!!

_Rosaleen_ – Thank you, as always, for the review!  :)

_Tall oaks_ – Do let me know if I ever do the expected?  I hope I'm original and creative and I need readers like you to keep me in line. :)  Thanks for the input on the slash issue too!

_Droxy_ – I think Snape's best feature are his eyes, but don't worry his hair will grow back quickly.  ;)  Yes the flashbacks are going to be darker and yes Albus will have his revenge against the Ministry!  Stay tuned!

_Barbara Kennedy_ – Yes, I do have a few plot twists up my sleeve!  *Grins evilly*  Thanks for the slash input!

_Wynjara_ – Sorry about the cliffhanger!  You think you're a sadist for reading these types of fics?  How do you think I feel for writing them?  I have to open my inner sadist every time I sit down at my computer!!  :)

_Renton_ – That's me.  'The Risks of Espionage' is the one I wrote about Snape's capture and I have no plans to rewrite it right now!  Sorry.

_NJ_ – Welcome back!  I missed you!  Oh yes, Albus is going to strike back in this one so stay tuned!  Thanks for the slash input!

_Cloudshape_ – Thanks for the slash advice and the review! 

_Khamul_ – I'm glad you like this version too!  Thanks for the review!

_Dayan_ – Many thanks for the slash input!  I hope the whole story remains more plausible without it!

_Fayet_ – It will only get darker from here as the _real_ healing begins!  Thanks!

_Littlerabbit_ – Thanks for the slash input and review!


	5. Chapter 4

Title – The Price We Pay: R Version 5/13

Rating – R

Disclaimer – I own none of this, it all belongs to Rowling.  I just have the honor of using her creations in my story.  I would like to think I own Belladonna Pomfrey, but Rowling can have her too.  

Summary – Healings and Revelations

Pairings – SS/LV, SS/LM, SS/Death Eaters and HP/DM

Warnings – Violence, torture, non-graphic rape and m/m slash

A/N – First off let me say how very sorry I am this took so long to post!  I got caught up with my 'Slytherin' series and had to put this new chapter on hold for a bit.  But it's finally here – a brand spanking new chapter!  I would be interested to hear what you think of Belladonna as I've planned on featuring her in a few future chapters.  Is she realistic or unbelievable?  Is she credible as a trauma-witch or needs more work?  She's definitely not a Mary Sue, but she is an original character of sorts and I would appreciate a little feedback on her!  As for the exploration of the Harry/Draco pairing – it's one of my fave non-Snape slash pleasures and since I've dropped the SS/AD pairing I wanted a little extra slashiness.  The next update will be quicker than this one I promise!  All reviews, corrections, suggestions and questions are welcome!  Read and enjoy!

The Price We Pay

Chapter 4

          Belladonna Pomfrey was a tall witch with kind hazel eyes, long brown hair neatly coiled at the back of her neck and a warm smile.  She was a walking contradiction of sorts; determined to do whatever was necessary for her patients, yet her stubbornness was balanced by her compassionate and gentle demeanor that she used with any soul unfortunate enough to need her services.  She was a witch who knew how to get things done and was quite protective of her methods.  She never backed down from anything, no matter how impossible a task or volatile a patient.

          Coming from a long line of healers and medi-witches, Belladonna was considered one of the leading experts in the field of magical healing, lending her knowledge and skills to hospitals all over Great Britain.  After her apprenticeship she had decided to specialize in trauma cases, specifically victims of rape and torture.  The war with Voldemort had created a need for healers like her and Belladonna did her best to heal the victims of the Dark Lord.  The general public only read the scant details about the attacks or murders the next day in the news, but she saw the consequences firsthand.  She saw the broken bodies, the hysterical families and the shattered souls.  She saw all of these things and then tried to put them back together, one piece at a time.    

          When she had received a letter from her Aunt Poppy asking if she could come out to Hogwarts and examine a special patient her interest was peaked and she wondered what had happened to make her very capable Aunt turn to her for help?  Surely Aunt Poppy knew how busy she was at St Mungo's now that the dungeons of Death Eaters had been emptied?  The wards that dealt with the most serious injuries were completely filled with patients that had been prisoners of Death Eaters and Belladonna had been on call for most of the week.  Then the letter had arrived, explaining there was a new patient at Hogwarts who was in dire condition and needed professional care and an expert diagnosis.  

          Belladonna had immediately turned her cases over to her apprentice healer at St. Mungo's in order to make the necessary preparations for the trip to Hogwarts.  Aunt Poppy's letter did not go into great detail and she had no idea what state the patient would be in when she arrived.

          The day after she had received the letter for help the healer found herself standing in front of Hogwarts, traveling bag in hand and eyes staring at the familiar castle.  It had not changed much from her student years.  Sure the walls had temporary battle scars and the atmosphere around the grounds was still charged with powerful, ancient magic, but underneath it was still the same, old Hogwarts.  It was a feeling war and death could never take away.         

          "Belladonna Pomfrey?"

          Hearing her name called, Belladonna turned from her examination of the castle to meet a familiar face.

          "Professor McGonagall!  It's good to see you again."

          The Deputy Headmistress smiled thinly and Belladonna could see the exhaustion and worry lining that stern visage.  

          "It is good to see you as well Ms. Pomfrey although I wish our meeting was under better circumstances."

          "Believe me Professor I feel the same way.  I never enjoy it when my services are needed."

          McGonagall nodded sadly and gestured to the open doorway.

          "Then please follow me and I will take you to the Hospital Wing.  The Headmaster would greet you himself but he is tending to Severus this morning."

          "I'm assuming Severus is the patient my Aunt owled me about?"

          "Yes unfortunately." McGonagall replied as they walked through the entrance hall.  House elves and even a few goblins could be seen scurrying about, seeing to whatever repairs the castle needed done that day.  They had made excellent progress restoring the vital parts of Hogwarts that had been damaged in the final battle, namely the Great Hall and outlying walls and buildings, and when school resumed in a few days the castle would be as good as new. "Tell me Ms. Pomfrey, what do you know about Severus Snape?"

          Belladonna had to take a few moments to gather her thoughts.

          "Only what is in his file at St. Mungo's and whispered from a few of my patients.  He has taught Potions here for about 20 years and is an ex-Death Eater with ties to the Order of the Phoenix.  Has quite a brilliant mind when it comes to potions, if my friends in the field are to be believed.  Well, I'm guessing he had a brilliant mind anyway.  Hopefully I will be able to do something about that."

          The other witch was silent for a few moments and Belladonna could see the grief flash briefly across the normally composed face before McGonagall could reign in her emotions.

          "I sincerely hope so Ms. Pomfrey.  Most people, especially the students, think Severus is unapproachable, someone to be avoided and who would rather yell at you than become your friend.  But some of us have actually made it past his somewhat bitter personality and I can count myself fortunate to have earned his friendship.  I have dearly missed our scathing conversations about the latest incident at the Ministry or one of our debates over Quidditch." McGonagall sighed nostalgically. "Perhaps one day when Severus is better."

          Belladonna nodded but remained silent.  Obviously there were others who could benefit from her presence here - even if it was only for a shoulder to cry on or a sympathetic ear to listen to their troubles.  Perhaps she could take a few extra days off to stay here and work her own special brand of magic.  She followed McGonagall through the halls and up the moving stairs, passing groups of students on the way.  There were also a few parents and Aurors walking around, visiting their children and keeping order.     

          Soon they reached the Hospital Wing and Belladonna was ushered inside.  The few patients looked over as they entered and she easily identified Harry Potter sitting next to a young wizard with blond hair.  They gazed at her curiously, although the blond wizard took one glance at the special maroon robes that designated her as a trauma medi-witch and suddenly seemed very sad and thoughtful.  Her gaze swept across the other patients before coming to a halt on her dear Aunt Poppy.

          "Bella dear, I'm so glad you could make it!  How are you?"

          Smiling, she embraced her aunt and replied,

          "I'm well Aunt Poppy, a little tired from all that has happened, but eager to help."

          Poppy Pomfrey's smile faded a little as she released her niece and shot a glance to the other end of the ward.  The joy she felt at seeing Belladonna was replaced by a weary sorrow as she said,

          "Yes, yes of course.  Severus is in the private room with the Headmaster at the moment.  Let's see if they are ready for company." She motioned for them to follow and headed toward a closed door.

          "I'm afraid I must leave you now Ms. Pomfrey." McGonagall interrupted, "Please let me know if you need anything."

          "Of course Professor.  Thank you." Belladonna replied and McGonagall nodded cordially before exiting the wing.  The trauma-witch waited while her aunt knocked softly on the door of the private room.  It swung open silently in response and tightening her grip on her bag, Belladonna stepped into the small room, completely focused on the task ahead.

                                                           * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

         Dumbledore looked up as someone knocked on the door, then quickly glanced at Snape, hoping the noise would not disturb him.  The ill wizard had been in the grips of a nightmare earlier and finally settled down to a restless sleep.  He closed the book he was reading and silently waved open the door with his hand.  Madame Pomfrey peeked inside and seeing that everything was calm, motioned to someone waiting behind her.

          He stood as his head nurse entered followed by a younger witch in the maroon robes of a trauma healer.  Searching his memory Dumbledore easily recalled Belladonna Pomfrey, a quiet, devoted girl – a Hufflepuff if he remembered correctly.  She was so much like her aunt, but also so very different, sort of like a more intense and harsh version of the normally pleasant Poppy.  He smiled and held out his hand in greeting.

          "Healer Pomfrey, welcome back to Hogwarts.  Thank you for coming."

          Belladonna shook his offered hand and replied,

          "It's no problem Headmaster.  I'm glad to be here.  This is Severus Snape?"

          Dumbledore nodded and surrendered his chair to the healer, watching anxiously as the trauma-witch set her bag on the table and sat down.  She did not touch Snape, just let her eyes travel up and down his thin, abused frame, finally coming to rest on his bandaged hands.  Snape shivered slightly in his sleep, as if he could sense her scrutiny and wanted to hide from it.  Belladonna looked up at them and asked,

          "Could you please step outside for a few moments?  I'd like to examine Severus myself and then we can talk."

          Frowning, Dumbledore opened his mouth to protest; surely whatever the healer had to do she could do it with him present couldn't she?  He did not like the idea of leaving Snape alone with a stranger.  True this stranger was trying to help him, but what if he saw her and panicked?  It had been two days since Snape had first woken up and Poppy had managed to keep him in a healing sleep for most of that time.  The couple of times Snape had resisted the sleeping draught and woke he had been clearly frightened and would only calm down in Dumbledore's presence.  Surprisingly, Belladonna anticipated his concerns and said with a sympathetic smile,

          "Trust me Headmaster, Severus is in good hands.  I'll call for you immediately if anything should happen."

          "I'll hold you to that Healer Pomfrey." Dumbledore answered gravely, "We'll be talking with the other patients." He took one last glance at Snape and let Poppy lead him out of the room by the elbow.  Belladonna waited until the door had firmly closed behind them before turning her attention back to her patient.          

          Snape was curled on his side, breathing softly and sleeping somewhat peacefully.  Occasionally he would twitch and release a breathy gasp then settle back down into slumber.  She was loathe to continue with her examination for she knew sleep would be a rare thing for Snape in the future and did not want to deprive him of that now, when he truly needed it.  Instead her hand reached for the recording scroll that her aunt used to keep track of a patient's injuries and medications.  Her eyes quickly scanned the scroll, noting all the treatments her aunt had already preformed and the potions Snape was to be given daily.

          Belladonna's first order of business was to add a few more potions to Snape's regimen.   She rose and opened her bag, removing two blank parchments - one that she would keep in her own records and one she would give to her aunt.  Then she took a quill from her robes and dipped it in a handy inkwell, ready to begin her evaluation.

          There was a potion that would curb some of the intensity of the nightmares Snape would suffer from and hopefully give him some undisturbed sleep.  It was not as strong as something like the Draught of Living Death, but stronger than the sleeping aids Aunt Poppy would have in her stores.

          Next was the potion that would help ease the tremors brought about from exposure to the cruciatus and heal the damaged nerves.  Belladonna's trained eye could see the faint trembling of Snape's limbs, a sure sign of repeated use of the unforgivable curse.  She wondered if his mental faculties had been damaged beyond repair like some of the poor patients in the long-term resident ward next to hers.  It seemed unlikely the more she thought about it; Voldemort had the perverse pleasure in keeping his victims sane and aware until he killed them 

          Then came the anti-depressant and no-anxiety potions that Snape would have to take when all his physical wounds were healed and his mind began to reconnect with the real world.  Depression and anxiety attacks were common for victims of rape and torture and if her magical potions did not work, Belladonna knew of some powerful Muggle drugs that would work just as well.

          She also wrote down a special, developmental potion that was only available to special healers of St. Mungo's and made a mental note to make sure a bottle of it was delivered to Hogwarts.  It was a carefully controlled potion and used in only the most serious cases in her trauma ward.  Officially called the Disassociation Draught, this potion allowed a person troubled by bad memories to temporarily disassociate themselves from the emotions of a strong memory and look at the memory rationally and sanely, without the fear that usually came with those recollections.  Her colleagues at St. Mungo's had nicknamed it the 'Happy Potion,' because a patient who was depressed and afraid would become happy and calm, at least for a short while.  It was a tool healers like herself were beginning to use in therapy sessions with the more traumatized patients, and Belladonna was certain her aunt would find it to be very useful.

          Finishing up with her potion prescriptions, Belladonna set aside the parchments and took out her wand.  Now it was time for the physical examination and she wanted to be as quick as possible.  No sense in adding any undue stress to the poor wizard.  

          She slowly rolled back the blankets, making sure to keep Snape warm with a charm as he shuddered slightly and curled a bit tighter into himself.  Belladonna frowned at the too thin body visible even underneath the light sleepclothes he wore and waved her wand to cast a diagnostic charm over the pale form, taking notes on the various readings.  She added some supplemental nutrition potions to her list, with advice on how to help rebuild Snape's strength and overall physical fitness.

          The trauma witch briefly looked over the rest of his physical injuries; she had seen and treated many of them before and knew her aunt would have them under control.  However she could not suppress a shiver as her calculating gaze finally stopped on the thick collar that encircled the fragile throat.

          As an experienced healer Belladonna had seen her fair share of atrocities and injuries inflicted by wizard upon wizard.  Magic was a formidable weapon in the right or wrong hands and she often encountered patients whose wounds, physical, emotional and mental, still managed to render her speechless.  Usually she was able to look past the wound to see the patient and do her job, but sometimes she could only stare in horror and wonder how someone could do that to another human being.

          Like right now.  Belladonna stared at the collar and forced her mind to start thinking about possible removal spells.  They were many different types of collars a wizard or witch could use to enslave and subdue someone.  In her apprenticeship she had treated a patient who had been so controlled by a collar that they had to use charms to regulate bodily functions like blinking and breathing until his body relearned how to control those things on its own without the influence of the collar.  There were collars that were so effective in suppressing magical powers that a few victims had been rendered squibs and still did not have access to their magic.  She had some experience in removing magical collars that had been placed on prisoners of war and was confident she could remove this one.            

          Using her wand to carefully probe Snape's collar, Belladonna mapped out the extent of control it had and the amount of damage it had caused to Snape's magical core.  She placed the tip of her wand against it and sent a small pulse of magic, testing the strength of Voldemort's handiwork, pleased when she determined the collar was simply suppressing Snape's own magical powers and nothing more.  Checking once more to make sure Snape was still sleeping, Belladonna was surprised to find his eyes were open and watching her drowsily.  She smiled and said,

          "Hello Severus.  My name is Belladonna and I'll be helping you get better." She was not expecting a reply or any sign that Snape understood her, but when his lips curved up into a very small smile Belladonna was convinced he could be healed to his former self. "Don't worry, we will all be taking very good care of you.  Everything will be all right." 

          When she moved to stroke his shorn hair Snape's eyes widened and he flinched, trying to move away from her outstretched hand. "It's ok, I won't try to touch you again, it's all right." Belladonna murmured soothingly until Snape calmed back down.  His eyes darted around searchingly and she quickly guessed who he was looking for. "Albus will be back later.  Go back to sleep and when you wake up he'll be here." Snape stared at her for a few moments then fell back asleep with a soft sigh.

          Finishing up with her notes and recommendations, Belladonna tucked the blankets around Snape and rose to find Dumbledore and her aunt.

                                                           * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

          "And then we're thinking about traveling to Italy, maybe sail around the Mediterranean for a while.  There are some beautiful islands to visit in the travel guide I was looking at."

          Dumbledore smiled encouragingly at Harry and heard Draco snort from the chair on the other side of Harry's bed.  The blond crossed his arms and replied,

          "Neither of us knows the first thing about sailing Potter.  It's hard work and complicated and not that much fun."

          "Fine.  We can always sightsee.  You know – visit the museums, monuments and landmarks instead."

          Draco scowled and said,

          "But those muggle places are incredibly boring.  Why do we have go on this vacation anyway?" 

          Harry raised an eyebrow and leered at his lover.

          "I want to get away from here until some of the furor dies down and see some of the world outside this castle.  Plus I can think of a few things that would make those boring museums seem a bit more lively Draco.  We can tell the tourists it's a special nude exhibit."

          Dumbledore looked up intently at the ceiling, pretending to ignore the two young wizards, but inside he was smiling.  He was anxious to return to Severus, but thankful for the welcome distraction the young lovers provided.  He was glad Harry and Draco had found some companionship with each other and wished them the best of luck in the future.  Judging by Ron Weasley's reaction they would need all the luck they could get to keep their relationship afloat.  Ron grimaced and shuddered slightly.

          "Thanks mate for a mental picture I did not need.  Next time could you please keep your plans with Malfoy to yourself?"

          "Why Weasel?  Did you picture something you liked?" Draco teased with a smug smirk.  Ron glared at him, sparks flying from his eyes.  Sighing, Harry shared an exasperated look with Dumbledore and wondered where Hermione was.  She could usually keep them all firmly in line and keep the hexes from flying.

          Taking pity on Harry, who was clearly torn between the two, Dumbledore reached into his robes and pulled out a small pouch.

          "Lemon drop anyone?"

          The confrontation was further diverted when the door to Snape's room opened and Healer Pomfrey slipped out, beckoning him over.  Dumbledore immediately got to his feet and was at her side in a second.  Poppy was right behind him and together they followed the trauma-witch back into the private room.

          The Headmaster reclaimed his spot by the bed and lightly touched Snape on the arm as if to reassure himself the other wizard was safe and alive.  His urgings satisfied, Dumbledore turned back to the two witches who were in deep conversation.  Poppy was reading a parchment while her niece was quietly explaining some of the key points of her report.  He cleared his throat and said when they looked over at him,

          "So what is your professional opinion Healer Pomfrey?"

          Belladonna glanced down at Snape and sighed.  She rubbed the back of her neck as she debated what to tell Dumbledore.  Nothing but the truth would satisfy this particular wizard she decided.  She had the uneasy feeling his blue eyes would see through any lie or half-truth.

          "I won't lie to you Headmaster.  Severus is in bad shape.  Voldemort did everything to maximize the amount of pain and suffering and honestly I'm surprised he's alive at all.  Most cases like this would be admitted to St. Mungo's and probably live out the rest of their lives as invalids, trapped in their insanity." She paused and her serious expression softened a bit, "However he obviously has many people who care about him and are willing to help him through the tough times.  I believe, with the proper care and emotional support, Severus will make a full recovery.  I can't guarantee that he will regain his former abilities and personality, but we can help him lead a healthy, normal life.  You have already shouldered this responsibility haven't you?" 

          Silence met her proclamation and Belladonna waited for Dumbledore's response.  The Headmaster nodded slowly and reached out a hand to tenderly stroke Snape's scraggly black hair as she could not do earlier.  When he did not reply right away she looked at her aunt and raised a questioning eyebrow.  Poppy shrugged before moving to sit next to the silent wizard.

          "Albus?  What's wrong?"

          Dumbledore lifted his head and smiled.  It was a very small smile, but a smile nonetheless.

          "Nothing is wrong Poppy.  I guess I'm feeling a little overwhelmed with relief right now." He turned to Belladonna, "I had braced myself for the worst and your news was more than I had hoped for.  Thank you."

          The healer nodded her understanding and said,

          "I'm sure Aunt Poppy will show me to my quarters and we can continue this discussion tomorrow.  Do try and get some rest – healer's orders.  I would hate to see you as a patient when the hard work has barely started."

          When they were gone Dumbledore leaned closer to his sleeping child and whispered,

          "I think everything is going to be fine Severus.  Just fine."

                                                           * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * 

          Later that night, after dinner with the other staff members, Belladonna made her way back to her rooms, not really paying any attention to her surroundings.  She had spent most of the dinner hour in conversation with Professor McGonagall as the older witch poured out her fears and concerns.  Her mind was still pondering the day's events and thinking about the woes of Hogwarts.  Belladonna was also thinking about Snape as she prepared a long-term recovery plan for him.  Therefore it was a surprise when she arrived at her door and looked up to see someone standing in her way.

          The blond wizard from earlier was staring at her with an unreadable expression.  His face was set in an impassive mask but his eyes darted around them as if he were afraid of being discovered with her.  Belladonna searched for a name and said,

          "What can I do for you Mr. Malfoy?"

          Draco Malfoy frowned slightly and gestured to her quarters.

          "I would like to speak with you in private." 

          Intrigued, Belladonna opened the door and motioned for Malfoy to enter.  Shutting the door behind them, she added a silencing charm for extra privacy.  She had the feeling what he was about to tell her should remain a private matter. 

          "Please sit down."

          Once he was seated Malfoy was even more restless and avoided her gaze by staring at his hands.  Finally the young wizard looked up at her and said,

          "You're helping Professor Snape."

          It was a statement, not a question, but Belladonna answered it anyway.

          "Yes, I am.  Is this about him?"

          Sighing miserably, Malfoy nodded and began to absently rub at his left forearm.

          "I just …I just wanted to warn you about the things that my father and the others would have done to him so you can help him get better."

          Realizing this would be some sort of healing for him, Belladonna listened patiently as Malfoy spoke in a pained voice about all the horrors inflicted on his former professor and head of house.  Although he did not have firsthand knowledge Malfoy gave her a lot of information that was invaluable.  He stumbled a bit when telling her about one painful memory in particular - the Christmas Revel.

          "I wasn't there of course.  Mother wouldn't let me attend Revels until after I left Hogwarts.  But I saw my father when he returned home late that night and he told me what had happened.  He must have had a little too much firewhiskey because he _never_ told me anything about Professor Snape." There was a heavy pause while Malfoy shifted in his chair and looked out the window at the night sky. "He said our Lord had given them all a wonderful gift that evening to do with as they pleased …it was Snape.  I guess he was …passed around …as the main entertainment and everyone had a turn with him.  Father spent the better part of an hour telling me all about it so it's kind of hard to forget."

          Malfoy stopped speaking and he turned away sharply, hands gripping the arms of the chair tightly.  It was clear to her that the Slytherin was trying valiantly to remain in control and did not want anyone to perceive him as weak.  Belladonna placed a gentle hand over his and said,

          "These kind of memories never truly go away Draco.  We can only learn to live with them and hope to go on with our lives.  I know you are probably feeling guilty, confused and maybe a little angry.  These feelings are perfectly normal and acceptable."

          "But I can't get rid of these bloody feelings!" Malfoy exclaimed. "All I can feel is guilt and shame because I couldn't find Professor Snape sooner or didn't confront my father or pay more attention to - "

          "Draco." Belladonna interrupted softly and waited until sad gray eyes focused on her.  A lone tear silently traveled down a pale cheek to fall onto pristine black robes. "It's ok to cry if you want."

          Given permission, he did.

                                                           * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

          After a lovely breakfast spent reminiscing with Aunt Poppy, Belladonna was back with her new patient.  The Headmaster, her aunt and Professor McGonagall joined her and they all waited for her to continue her evaluation.  Snape, still in a healing sleep, was oblivious to their discussion about his future. 

          "I'd like to start off by saying that I will owl you a copy of my complete report tomorrow and include a few potions that will help when Severus returns to lucidity." Belladonna looked at her aunt and continued, "I will leave the physical wounds in your capable hands Aunt Poppy.  One thing we can do now is remove this hideous collar."

          The four worked in quiet tandem to free Snape from this magical prison.  Belladonna instructed Dumbledore and McGonagall to prepare for a backlog of magic that had been suppressed for several months while she severed the dark binding spells and Poppy kept an eye on Snape.  Aided by her preliminary testing yesterday, she quickly found the spells keeping Snape's magic dormant and began to break them.  Snape whimpered a little as Voldemort's spells were lifted, but Poppy was right there to keep him calm.  The Headmaster and McGonagall concentrated to keep the storm of magic from killing Snape as it was freed.

          Belladonna worked surely and smoothly, breaking the final bonds that Voldemort had woven to trap the former spy.  Finally she touched her wand to the inhibiting collar and whispered the last unlocking spell.  The collar sprung open with a click and she carefully removed it from Snape's neck.  The healer dropped it into her waiting bag for transportation to St. Mungo's where experts would destroy it.  Lifting her head Belladonna said,

          "Now slowly release his magic so I can guide it back into him safely."

          When they were done Snape relaxed into his pillow with a sigh as magic filled and surrounded him for the first time in eight months.

          "I'm glad that's over.  I couldn't stand the sight of that foul thing around his neck." McGonagall said as they rested for a minute, "I'm almost disappointed Harry defeated You-Knew-Who because I swear Albus I want to give that horrid excuse for a wizard a piece of my mind!"

          Dumbledore laughed tiredly and patted his deputy's arm.

          "I happen to agree with you Minerva.  But I dare say Voldemort is receiving ample punishment for his sins in the afterlife.  Magic has a way of rewarding and punishing those who deserve it."

          They were silent as they considered this bit of wisdom until Belladonna cleared her throat and said,

          "Well said Headmaster.  I would hope magic will find a way to reward Severus for all his trials and pains, but we must help him achieve them.  As I said earlier I will leave the physical injuries to you Aunt Poppy.  There are some points of Severus's recovery that I should discuss with you now."

          Dumbledore shifted uncomfortably and waited nervously as Belladonna cast a silencing charm around them so Snape would not subconsciously hear what they were talking about, even while in a deep sleep.  Whatever the trauma witch was going to tell them was likely to be difficult to hear.

          "First you must remember to be patient with him, give him time and space to heal on his own.  Severus strikes me as someone who was a very independent and private person and as his memories and abilities return he should be allowed to retain some of that former personality.  His mind has suffered many setbacks and will heal slowly as it tries to piece itself together.  Memories, thoughts and emotions have likely been affected.  Don't be surprised if Severus has troubled remembering things for weeks to come."

          "Will he remember us?  Or what happened to him?" Dumbledore asked.

          "His memories are scattered and broken like his spirit." Replied Belladonna, "Voldemort tampered with Severus's mind and magic so much that it's a wonder he can understand us at all.  Be prepared for nightmares, violent flashbacks, periods of confusion and mood swings.  I suspect his magic will return eventually, but his mind is very fragile and must be treated as such.  Best you can do is simply be there for him and let him know he is not alone.  He must learn to trust you and know that he can depend on you for help."

          They nodded at her explanation.  Poppy leaned forward and asked,

          "What about the abuse – the sexual abuse?  How do we deal with that Bella?"

          Belladonna was very straightforward with them and her answers were to the point.

          "Sexual abuse of this magnitude cannot be overcome easily.  Rape is a powerful torture technique, one that Voldemort and the Death Eaters used liberally with their prisoners.  Almost half of my patients experienced or witnessed rape during their captivity and because Severus was a high profile prisoner his experiences are likely to be many times worse."

          "How do you know that?" inquired Dumbledore curiously.

          "I have my sources Headmaster.  When you work with patients like Severus on a daily basis you have intimate knowledge of what Death Eaters are capable of.  Now, don't be alarmed if he develops an aversion to touch or becomes anxious around strangers, especially wizards.  Just talk softly and remain non-threatening until he realizes you won't hurt him.  His trust has been sorely abused but he will learn to feel safe around you again.  Victims of rape often suffer from depression, insecurities about their sexuality and feeling guilty about themselves or their situation.  And I know you don't want to consider it, but someone should be with Severus at all times as a sort of self-injury/suicide watch."

          "You think Severus might be suicidal?" McGonagall gasped, surprised the healer would suggest such a thing.  Snape might have been many things, but he was not a quitter and she refused to think he would escape his troubles through death.

          "I'm not saying that he will be for sure, simply that he might be Professor.  It's better to be cautious than not pay any attention at all.  I've left a list of all the signs of these conditions with Aunt Poppy so everyone can read it and know what they are dealing with and looking for.  Some you should watch out for include unexplainable injuries, loss of interest in things in general and a withdrawal from you. 

          "As his memories return the treatments I have planned will become more invasive and personal.  Potions will help with depression, anxiety and insomnia.  We must help Severus to cope with his memories without reliving them and experiencing the same emotions.  Therapy is the best way to do this so I have made time to come back twice a week and guide him through these sessions.  However I also believe that you, Headmaster, will play a vital role in helping Severus examine his feelings and in getting him to talk about his ordeal in a place where he feels safe and protected.  Follow these recommendations and Severus will be back to relative normalness in no time. "  

          "I have already devoted myself to his recovery and will do anything to help Severus." Dumbledore said as he gazed sadly down at the sleeping patient. "What you have told us today only reaffirms my commitment to him now and in the future.  You can be rest assured that I will listen, watch and do my best to right the wrongs inflicted on him by Voldemort."

          Belladonna smiled suddenly and began packing her things into her traveling bag, hazel eyes warm and encouraging.

          "Then it appears that my business here today is concluded.  I know Severus is in good hands and will be back to check on him next week."

          "That's it?  You're done?" Dumbledore asked with slight frown.  The trauma witch's smile faded a bit as she replied frankly,

          "This is just the beginning Headmaster.  Just the beginning."

          There was an uncomfortable silence until Poppy rose and said,

          "I'll walk you to the gates Bella.  Thank you again for coming."

          "It was no problem.  I'll see you next week Headmaster, Professor McGonagall." Belladonna inclined her head respectfully at them as they also gave her their heartfelt thanks for visiting.  With one last look at Snape, Belladonna followed her aunt with a swirl of maroon robes and was gone.

          "Well, at least she knows what she is doing." McGonagall pointed out as she straightened her hat and got to her feet.

          "That she does Minerva." Agreed Dumbledore, "Belladonna is one of the best in her field and most importantly, I trust her with Severus."

          McGonagall nodded and left him to resume his vigil. Snape had rolled onto his side, bound hands moving restlessly as if they were searching for something - or someone.  Dumbledore gently picked up the fragile hands in his own and stroked the pale flesh not covered by bandages.  Snape quickly calmed down and settled back into a dreamless, healing sleep.

          Soon the nightmares and tears would come, but they would be ready for them.  Dumbledore looked down at his Severus and became even more determined to guide and protect him through the upcoming weeks.  He would be there to wipe away the tears, hold him through the nightmares and be Snape's steady rock when life became too much.  

          Dumbledore knew things would not be easy or painless, but he would face them with unwavering optimism and hope.

          His child would become whole again – he would make sure of that.

          *TBC*

Rape and abuse of any kind is a very serious matter (for wizards and muggles) and I would like to acknowledge two websites that provided invaluable information when I was doing some research into what Snape would really be going through.  The Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network provides help to victims of sexual assault and can be found at www.rainn.org.  The other site is The National Center for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and is located at www.ncptsd.org.  I encourage you to take a look at these sites and perhaps gain further insight into what our poor Severus and many real-life people are really a victim of.

I don't have time to reply individually to all of you who reviewed, but I wish to say thank you for reading and reviewing and I hope to hear more of your comments and thoughts on this chapter!


	6. Chapter 5

Title – The Price We Pay: R Version 6/13

Rating – R

Disclaimer – I own none of this, it all belongs to Rowling. I just have the honor of using her creations in my story.

Summary – Snape heals and The Minister of Magic pays a visit.

Pairings – SS/LV, SS/LM, SS/Death Eaters and HP/DM

Warnings – Violence, torture, non-graphic rape, m/m slash

A/N –I'm sooooo sorry this hasn't been updated in a long while. Seems I kind of forgot about it. Oops. (Runs and hides). Everything is back on track though. All reviews, suggestions, corrections and questions are welcome!! Read and enjoy.

**The Price We Pay**

**Chapter 5**

Over the next seven days Dumbledore and the staff slowly settled into a routine that revolved around Snape.

Dumbledore of course was at the head of the recovery effort, spending most of his time in the Hospital Wing, tending to Snape with infinite patience and love. When he was forced to leave for a period of time Madame Pomfrey would usually take his place. It often worked out that Pomfrey would look after Snape during the afternoons, as Dumbledore would tend to the seriously ill wizard in the mornings and nights. The staff was eager to help in any way they could and volunteered to sit in the Infirmary with Snape and keep watch, wanting to do their part to help him. However everyone quickly realized that Snape was only comfortable around a select few of the staff and even then only tolerated their presences or touches for a short while.

McGonagall was the most readily accepted of the staff and came whenever she was not busy with her transition to Headmistress. She would often sit next to Snape's bed and talk about the exams the students would finally be taking soon or how life in the castle was slowly returning to normal. One afternoon Dumbledore entered the private room to find a sleeping Snape cuddled up with a contentedly purring tabby cat and he had a hard time suppressing his laughter. A chuckle escaped and the tabby cat looked up startled before jumping off the bed and transforming back into a flustered looking McGonagall.

"Albus! I wasn't expecting you back for another hour." The witch exclaimed as she straightened her robes and checked her hair.

"The interview with the Daily Prophet ended earlier than I anticipated so I thought I would come and see how Severus is doing. I didn't mean to interrupt your nap."

McGonagall huffed and told him,

"Yes, well, I've found he sleeps better with my cat form. No nightmares in my company."

"Of course Minerva." Agreed Dumbledore, a slight grin playing on his lips, "The cuddling was just a bonus."

McGonagall shot him a look daring him to try calling it 'cuddling' again. The Headmaster simply gazed innocently back at her until they shared a small smile and reveled in this moment of rare peace.

Though McGonagall had an obvious healing touch with Snape, there were some whose presence unfortunately only made things worse.

Poor Hagrid discovered this the first and only time he kept watch on Snape. The gentle gamekeeper tried to wake him from a particularly bad nightmare and gently shook a thin shoulder. Snape jerked awake at the contact and looked up at the looming half-giant with wide eyes, giving a shrill cry upon feeling the large hand touching his body. Hagrid tried to calm him, but his presence was too much for Snape who kept sobbing and moaning in distress. The cries attracted Poppy Pomfrey and she immediately understood the problem, ushering Hagrid from the room. It had taken the nurse several minutes to calm the frightened wizard and in the end they had learned an important lesson. Even in his depressed daze Snape would only recognize and accept the comfort of a few people, mostly witches with Dumbledore being the male exception.

Professor Sinistra was one of the other staff members who could spend time alone with Snape. She had been named Head of Slytherin House after Snape's disappearance and spoke at length about the latest news from his House, relaying the numerous well wishes from his students. Though Snape was mostly unresponsive that first week they did their best to let him know he was not alone and that he could trust them. Someone was with him at all times according to Belladonna Pomfrey's instructions, watching as their colleague and friend struggled to connect with reality.

Snape, for his part, slept most of the time, letting his tortured body heal and regain its strength. The cuts, bruises and whip marks faded away quickly; unfortunately leaving scarring in some places too deep to be healed with magic. Pomfrey had healed his eyesight soon after his awakening, although he was still sensitive to bright light and would frequently bury his head into Dumbledore's beard or his blankets to avoid it. The rest of the external injuries took longer to heal, however Pomfrey kept to the regimen prescribed by her niece and diligently fed Snape his required healing potions. A slight fever from some infected wounds had broken the day after Belladonna's first visit, but Snape was still very thin and weak and could not move on his own, relying on the strong arms of others or levitation spells.

He also could not use his hands; Pomfrey judged they should remain bound and immobile for at least 2 more weeks. A hint of the old Severus emerged the first time Dumbledore tried to feed him; he gifted the Headmaster with a sorely missed glare and refused to open his mouth. Before Dumbledore could react, Snape quailed and meekly opened his mouth, eyes lowering in surrender. Troubled by this behavior Dumbledore set down the bowl of soup and gently cupped his hands around the younger wizard's face, being mindful of the still swollen jaw.

"It's all right my boy. I promise I will never punish you for disagreeing or expressing your own wants. I imagine a part of you is ashamed and angry to be fed like this, but until you get better you will have to rely on us. Will you let me help you Severus?"

Dumbledore waited with a patient smile as Snape slowly digested his question, mind working to comprehend what was being offered. After living for so many months with having absolutely no will or freedoms of his own and being subject to the whims of others, Snape was understandably confused. Here he was given a choice over his own life and tears sprang to his eyes at this unexpected kindness. Grateful black eyes rose to meet Dumbledore's before Snape glanced back at the soup bowl and nodded.

"Excellent my dear." Dumbledore beamed. "Now let's get some of this delicious soup in you. You're all skin and bones."

While Dumbledore cared for Snape in private, the inhabitants of Hogwarts waited with baited breath for any news from the Hospital Wing. Pomfrey had released the last of the injured students the previous day and the only occupants of the wing were now Snape and Dumbledore. Snape had been slowly coaxed out of the private room to a bed in a nice corner, where he could adapt to light and open places. The Headmaster even had his own bed next to Snape's, as Pomfrey was tired of finding him asleep in hard chairs.

Seven days after rescuing Snape Dumbledore was in the Hospital Wing, as usual, tending to a decidedly stubborn patient.

- - - - - - - - - -

"Severus you know Poppy said that your body is still weak and vulnerable to other illnesses, you must keep warm."

There was no reply from the huddled mass under the blankets and Dumbledore gave a weary sigh. Snape was being particularly difficult today, and although Dumbledore was heartened to see more of the old Snape appear it was becoming very frustrating, stretching his patience to the very limits.

It had all started earlier that morning when Snape had refused to eat his breakfast, shutting his mouth and stubbornly shaking his head when offered a spoonful of the special soft cereal the house elves had created to help him gain weight. Though he was worried about the lack of appetite Dumbledore gave in to Snape's refusal to eat and hoped to coax something into the too thin wizard later in the day. Then Snape had ignored Poppy when the nurse came to administer his daily healing potions by curling into a ball and crying miserably. Stunned at this sudden change in emotions Dumbledore could do nothing but soothe him through the crying episode until Snape fell into a restless sleep.

Now he was awake and Dumbledore was trying to finally get Snape out of bed to stretch badly neglected muscles. Belladonna Pomfrey was due to arrive in an hour or so for another healing session and the Headmaster wanted to get Snape up and moving before then.

"Please Severus? You must get out of bed sooner or later, especially if you want to get better. It's just a short walk over to the window."

Not expecting a reply from the still silent Snape, Dumbledore was suitably shocked when a faint whisper drifted up from the blankets.

" . . . no"

It took the Headmaster a moment to find his own voice and he thought about summoning Poppy to tell her about Snape's first words to any of them, but decided against it. He did not want to break the mood and continued speaking to Snape as if nothing was out of the ordinary.

"Why not my boy? I'm not asking you to walk to the Great Hall or outside. Just over to the window where you can feel the sunshine." When no further sounds came from the lump he sighed again and said gently, "No one else is here Severus. Nothing bad will happen, I can assure you."

Dumbledore waited and was rewarded by Snape peeking his head out from the cocoon of blankets. The Headmaster smiled and brushed the short strands of black hair off of Snape's brow, noting that he was growing more comfortable with certain touches every day.

"There you are. I was wondering when you were going to come out. Look at what I have for you."

Grabbing the pair of enchanted bright yellow bunny slippers before they could hop out of the hospital wing Dumbledore held them up for Snape to see. The ill wizard slowly emerged from the blankets and stared at the slippers with a small frown. His mouth opened and closed a few times before another whisper escaped.

" . . . yellow"

Dumbledore chuckled softly and said,

"Your feet will thank you if you put them on. Walk to the window with me and I will change them to a different color for you."

Snape appeared to think about this before nodding and uncurling his legs. The Headmaster slid the slippers on and a heating charm immediately warmed the cold feet. Staring at the cheerful yellow bunnies Snape gave a small smile of thanks to the older wizard.

"See, that wasn't so bad Severus. Let me help you up, there we go." Dumbledore slipped a dressing robe over rumpled sleep clothes and slid an arm around the slender waist. Carefully they worked their way over to an enlarged plush chair next to a window that overlooked the school grounds. They settled comfortably in the chair and Snape lifted his head to stare pointedly at his slippers. When Dumbledore failed to notice he reached up and tugged on the long beard. The older wizard looked over at his friend and smiled slyly.

"Ah yes I did say I would change them didn't I?" With a wave of his wand Dumbledore charmed the slippers from bright yellow to gloomy black, ignoring the glare Snape was still giving him. "What? They are black now aren't they?"

" . . . still . . . bunnies" Came the hoarse whisper.

"I happen to like bunnies Severus and those black bunnies seem to like you."

Snape frowned unhappily at his feet, staring at the black rabbits adorning the slippers and decided he would learn to like them too. He did not want to consider what would happen if he displeased this particular wizard. While the old wizard – _Albus_ his fragmented memories told him – while Albus had done absolutely nothing to hurt or humiliate him, he was still a very powerful wizard and Snape knew all about pleasing very powerful wizards. So he forced his unhappiness away and wiggled his feet experimentally. The bunny on his left foot wiggled its ears in response and Snape smiled obediently at the slipper's antics.

Smiling himself at his child's reaction, Dumbledore reached over and retrieved the Daily Prophet from a nearby table. Since it was Sunday there was a larger edition than usual, with a whole section devoted to the trials of captured Death Eaters. He began to read certain articles to Snape, quickly deciding to skip that particular section of the paper, and only reading aloud the parts that would not upset the wizard nestled next to him.

His mouth stopped when he came to an article detailing the continued hunt for escaped Death Eaters Bellatrix and Rastaban Lestrange. They were the only two to escape the final battle at Hogwarts and were proving to be very hard to catch. The pair had been seen last in Muggle London, but rumors placed them in various cities like Paris, New York and Moscow. They were reported as being obsessed with revenge for the death of their Lord and crazy enough to do anything necessary to accomplish that goal. Suppressing a sigh Dumbledore knew he would have to organize sufficient protection for Harry and his friends once they left the castle, as well as members of the Order and their families. The Lestranges were not to be taken lightly and everyone who played a part in the war would have to be protected. Another light tug on his beard made him look down into Snape's worried black eyes.

" . . . wrong?" Snape managed and tried to lean forward to look at the paper. Dumbledore nimbly moved the paper out of Snape's reach and sight and replied,

"No, nothing's wrong. I was just pondering today's horoscope. Let's take a look at yours my dear."

With his short attention span Snape was now sufficiently distracted and drowsed as Dumbledore continued to read. The Headmaster kept speaking but his mind was going over the different spells and wards necessary to defend key people from homicidal Death Eaters. So absorbed in his thoughts was he that when a hand touched his shoulder he jerked in surprise, startling Snape into full awareness as well.

"Sorry for disturbing you Albus," said Professor McGonagall, "but several owls arrived for you during lunch that need your immediate attention. I'll watch over Severus until Belladonna arrives."

Both occupants of the chair looked up at the witch, who merely smiled and used her wand to transfigure a glass into a comfortable chair next to theirs. Dumbledore eased himself out, mindful of not bumping Snape's sensitive body, and tucked the blankets around the squirming wizard; unhappy now that he had lost his warm Headmaster pillow.

"I'll be right back Severus. Sit here with Minerva and she'll take care of you. Remember Minerva? She came yesterday." Dumbledore said and watched as Snape blinked a few times before nodding at them, showing he recognized McGonagall. The Headmaster shared a pleased look with his Deputy and knowing Snape was in good hands hurried out to take care of whatever needed his attention now.

McGonagall smiled at Snape and pulled a book out of her robes. Black eyes watched her curiously as she held it up and said,

"I brought a book to read to you Severus. It's about potions; one of the first year Slytherins loaned it to me the other day. Would you like me to read some of it to you?"

" . . . yes"

The witch gasped and looked over at Snape with wide eyes.

"Severus! You spoke!"

Snape merely stared at her blankly until McGonagall managed to subdue her surprise enough to reply,

"Well then, let me read some of this and we will see what you can remember."

She opened the book and began to read in a calm, lilting voice that soon lulled Snape back to sleep. McGonagall stared at her younger colleague, curled peacefully in his chair despite the trials of the last week, looking so young and her maternal instincts suddenly flared to life. She wanted to sit with the hurt wizard and comfort him, but knew he was only truly comfortable with Dumbledore and would probably panic if she touched him for too long. Footsteps outside the Infirmary alerted her to someone's presence and McGonagall looked up expecting to see Dumbledore return. When the doors flew open with a bang she was surprised to see the Minister of Magic Cornelius Fudge storm into the room with two Aurors right behind him. A _very_ angry Minister of Magic.

"WHERE IS DUMBLEDORE??!!!"

- - - - - - - - - -

For the thousandth time Dumbledore wished apparation was allowed within the walls of Hogwarts. Then the trip back from his office to the Infirmary would not take so much precious time. He sped around a corner, nearly knocking over a student in his haste and loosed his wand in his sleeve as he approached the doors of the Hospital Wing.

When told by Professor Sinistra that an irate Minister Fudge was looking for him, Dumbledore frowned and wondered what the Minister wanted now. There had been a letter from Fudge sitting on his desk, but he had burned it without a second thought. Only a few hours after the final battle had ended he had kindly asked Fudge to stay away from Hogwarts and its students until things calmed down and injuries had time to heal. Well maybe not exactly _kindly_, Dumbledore recalled using the words _unforgivable_ and _pus filled boils_ when telling Fudge to keep out. The Ministry had no right to disturb his students, many of whom were still grieving for friends and family slain in the war. He had fought Fudge for the privacy and sanity of his children, keeping the Ministry and press away from Hogwarts, at least for a little while. Now apparently the Minister had come uninvited, with a pair of Aurors, demanding to speak to him right away.

The doors to the Hospital Wing were already open when Dumbledore entered and the sight that met his eyes made his heart drop and jaw clench.

Professor McGonagall had drawn her wand and was pointing it at an Auror and Minister Fudge, who had also drawn their wands. All three were yelling various insults and orders at each other. Another Auror was standing guard by the door, but he glanced at Dumbledore's face and backed away quickly, lowering his wand. McGonagall was standing protectively in front of a hospital bed, her eyes blazing as she prevented the three intruders from coming any closer. Dumbledore took one look at whom she was protecting and his blue eyes grew cold, his magic crackling dangerously.

"CORNELIUS FUDGE!!!" Dumbledore roared, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

Fudge spun around and all the color drained from his round little face. He looked to his Aurors for help, but the other two wanted nothing to do with the enraged Dumbledore and wisely stepped away. Dumbledore did not wait for a response and lifted his hand to wordlessly summon their wands to him. As he slowly advanced on Fudge the other wizard quickly found his voice and stammered,

"Al-Albus! I was told you were in the Hospital Wing and came up to look for you! We meant no harm here, honestly!"

"If you wanted to speak with me Cornelius you should have waited in my office. How dare you come in here and harass patients!!" Blue eyes flashed and the air around Dumbledore practically shimmered with potent magic. Fudge however appeared to regain some of his former anger when he replied,

"Harassing? We were doing nothing of the sort! Listen here Dumbledore; I demand to know what is going on in this school! We have heard nothing from Potter or the students involved in the battle and now you have decided to resign? And is that Severus Snape? He looks like he should be in the permanent care ward of St. Mungo's. We may want to question him later about the whereabouts of the Lestranges."

"No you listen Minister Fudge," said the Headmaster coldly, "I have not allowed you inside Hogwarts for this very reason! You have no consideration for the students or staff here and will do whatever is necessary to achieve your own purposes here without thought of the consequences!!" Dumbledore paused and visibly reigned in his anger and magic before he did something he would later regret. "I will not speak with you today Cornelius, owl me with your questions if you have to. Minerva, would you be so kind as to escort Minister Fudge and his guests out of the castle? I am afraid they would not make it far with me."

Fudge had no reply to that and allowed a fuming McGonagall to usher them out of the Infirmary. All three Ministry officials appeared suitably intimidated by Dumbledore's cold gaze and aura of invincible power. The Minister somehow found courage worthy of a Gryffindor to lock eyes with Dumbledore as he passed and said,

"I will authorize an investigation into Snape's continued presence here Headmaster and you will be hearing from me again. There are questions being raised and I demand the answers."

"And I will fight you every step of the way." Dumbledore replied as he raised his wand at Fudge, "You do not want to push this issue or I will make you regret it."

Fudge frowned and glared at the end of Dumbledore's wand.

"See here Dumbledore, I am the Minister of Magic! You would not dare threaten me!"

Dumbledore waved his wand slightly and watched as his silencing spell took effect. Fudge flapped his mouth, but blessedly no sound came out of it. "I believe I just did Cornelius. Unfortunately you should get your voice back in a day or two. Now please get the hell out of my castle."

Handing the three wands to McGonagall, Dumbledore told her to return them to their owners at the gates and motioned for her to lead them out of the school. The Aurors moved to escort the silently raging Fudge out of the room, quickly following McGonagall. When they had left he sighed heavily and turned to repair whatever damage had been wrought by Fudge and his incompetence.

Snape had immediately woken up at the Minister's yell and panicked; the loud voices and raised wands bringing back too many horrible memories of his imprisonment. He had quickly sought the sanctuary of the dark space underneath the closest bed, curling tight and hoping the strange intruders would not notice him. McGonagall had no time to calm the frightened wizard before Fudge was yelling for the Headmaster and wands were drawn. The transfigurations professor had then moved to protect Snape from the curious Aurors and tried to explain to Fudge where Dumbledore was and what had happened to Snape. That was when Dumbledore had entered the wing and put an end to the ridiculous encounter.

Kneeling, Dumbledore began to gently coax Snape from underneath the bed. He was in the middle of another crying episode, trembling fiercely, breath hitching and tears streaming from clenched eyes. He pulled the unresisting body into his arms and rocked slightly, murmuring the same words he always did to help calm Snape down after these attacks. After awhile no sound came from the limp form in his arms and Dumbledore wondered if Snape had fallen asleep when a soft voice drifted up to him,

" . . . gone?"

"Yes, Severus they're gone and won't be back anytime soon."

A short, halting laugh came from Snape that made Dumbledore look down in surprise.

" . . . idiot . . . Fudge."

Dumbledore blinked a few times before starting to laugh; a deep, hearty laugh that washed away all the fears and tears of the last hour. Wiping away tears of laughter this time Dumbledore gave Snape a gentle squeeze and said,

"That, Severus, is very true."

Snape only smiled quietly in return and snuggled closer, burying his head in the white beard.

**TBC**

Thanks for the reviews! I'm so glad many of you like Belladonna; she'll be back in the next chapter with more therapy. Keep the feedback rolling!


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